Soon By You Episode 3: The Shabbat Meal

Soon By You Episode 3: The Shabbat Meal

November 6, 2019 73 By William Morgan


What? What happened? Tell me.
No. Sarah, we’ve
been over this before.
We can’t watch Srugim together
if you’re not going to pay attention.
But I can’t understand anything.
They’re talking too fast.
Well then read the subtitles.
No, I’m not gonna read while watching TV.
Okay, so this guy, he’s the doctor.
I love doctors.
Yeah okay well he’s kind of a jerk and
he’s totally leading you FATA…
never mind.
Somebody should just make a show like
this, but in New York.
That would be epic.
I know, I don’t know why nobody’s done it.
It’s not like it’s hard.
[theme music, including ticking clock]
Hey, man
Shhh….
Hey.
Hey, uhhh, I was just about to call
Sarah so wish me luck [chuckles nervously]
No, no, do it in here. I want to watch.
okay
Should I go?
Yeah. This is for you. Enjoy.
I, uh, I didn’t push the button. [laughs]
I forgot to push the button.
Do you want help dialing?
Oh, uh, I’ve got it.
[dials phone]
[phone call connects, starts to ring]
[cell phone rings]
Hello?
Hi, Sarah, it’s David.
Who?
Uh, David.
We met outside the bathroom –twice.
No I’m kidding.
uh but I find it interesting that you
went with the bathroom thing.
Me, too… uh so what are you up to?
I was just reading this book.
Any good? [off camera]
Yeah, actually really good.
Oh you’ll have to tell me about it sometime,
maybe over coffee,
you know someplace without Sarah or Ben. [off camera]
Sure.
Great uh what’s today?
Tuesday, what about tomorrow night?
Wednesday’s are a little tough. Thursday?
Oh Thursday, not this week.
Shoot. [off camera]
Yeah. What about Friday?
Do you have any plans Friday night?
Like Shabbat dinner, Friday night?
Yeahhhh.
Are you asking me to come to your apartment for Shabbat dinner?
Yeah, uh, uh,
you know with with everybody else who’s
gonna be there for the meal I’m hosting.
Oh you’re hosting a meal [sigh of relief]
Yeah I’m hosting a meal in my apartment.
Cool. How many people are you having?
Still working on that but the more the
merrier so come on over and it’ll be merry.
Okay I think that sounds great
let me know what I can bring
ah just yourself –oh and
maybe some challah
Okay you got it. I’m looking forward to
it.
Me, too. Bye.
So… I’m thinking about hosting a meal.
Yes. I’ll come! Yeah, I mean for a second
I thought you weren’t going to invite me.
Oh no
You weren’t gonna do that.
No , of course I’d invite you.
Okay good; it would be
weird if you didn’t.
It would be.
Rent that’s right, yeah we should
were roommates the rent thing you [indistinct]
actually oh I’m gonna do my painting a
painting
Ben, good morning!
Good morning.
Ben come here I found
those pictures of my nieces and nephews
you wanted to see. So like I said,
these are my sister’s kids.
She’s the one that married the Jewish boy.
Right, right.
Well he’s not Jewish like you with the yarmulke
and all that, but he is Jewish.
Do you know him?
His name is Adam.
No, I don’t know your brother-in-law.
Oh hi, Leon. Hey Leon did you know Benny
the intern here is another Jew different
than you, though, he wears the yarmulke.
Yes, Maggie I noticed.
Look at me, working with two Jewish lawyers.
I guess some of those stereotypes you know
that they say
okay Maggie we gotta go
Ben, you’re coming?
Yes
Bye Maggie gotta run –great pictures.
Mmm.
Hey thanks.
Sure. Hey, you check your email
yet?
No just got in. Something specific in there?
Yeah annual company-wide meeting
All right, looking forward to it. When is it?
Friday 5:30
Oh shoot, I, I can’t go. I need
to leave on time on Fridays.
It’s not really optional. At the end, Mr. Morris is
going to choose one intern to
assist him personally.
It’s like being offered a job on the spot.
I
Friday 5:30.
[Zee sings]
All right we need to
clean the apartment, we need to borrow
chairs, we need to borrow plates, we need
to borrow a tablecloth.
We should probably borrow a table.
What?
So proud of you.
What?
Working this hard for a girl.
Yeah I guess.
I’ve said it before
and I’ll say it again
nothing truly says you like a girl like
tricking her into your apartment.
Okay, come on, I wouldn’t put it like that.
Alright maybe I uh fabricated
Fabricating a girl into your apartment.
No, that’s, that’s not how you use that word.
Anyway, first things first.
Invite list. I figure there’s you and me,
Sarah.
Right, of course.
Sarah that’s three.
Alright moving on to menu.
Uh don’t you think we should invite
some more people otherwise it might turn
into a third wheel situation and I don’t
want to do that to you
Oh I’d be the third wheel for a second
I was just gonna say like let’s not invite Sarah.
Yeah that it’s not gonna work.
Why do you want more people again?
I mean why not just have a meal the two of us,
I mean the two of you.
Yeah I was thinking about that ,
but then it’s uh I don’t know
it just seemed too intimate you know what I mean?
I mean we haven’t even been
on a regular date yet and this would be
a homemade dinner by candlelight it’s
intimate, right? We’d be singing kiddush
sitting there just the two of us quietly
until hamotzi, benching.
it’s uh, intimate isn’t it?
Okay, can you just stop
saying the word intimate? It’s giving me the weirds.
Yeah me too
Yeah
Anyway, so
who else can we invite?
Noa.
Okay, yeah
All right I could see that .Noa.
She’s been doing this thing where she pretends
not to like me like at all.
She’s always just like
Zee, I don’t find that funny or Zee I’m not
giving you my phone number
Zee give me my phone back.
[phone ringing]
Zee, stop calling me.
Hey Noa . Z.
I know
You know-a?
What ? Okay I’m gonna go now.
No, no wait wait, wait.
What?
I just wanted to ask you what’s your astrological sign
no no creamy or chunky peanut butter no no
Do you think time travel exists past
or present
Goodbye Zee.
No no wait you don’t have to answer
that or any unless you want to. You don’t.
Well I just wanted to say that that
David and I are hosting a meal Friday
night and we want you to come, I want you to come,
we we want you to come.
Are you really?
Not, I would never lie to you.
Okay but let
me see if Sarah can come
Oh Sarah’s already coming.
Uh ,no, the other Sarah.
We have to deal with that.
What are you doing?
So apparently according to
The Navidaters you shouldn’t order a whole
bottle of wine on the first date
So weird.
Are you going to David and Zee’s
for Friday night dinner.
No –they’re having a meal?
What’s this?
So on Shabbat.com you can see who’s
hosting meal and who’s coming to that meal. It’s
just David, Sarah and Z. That could be fun.
But give me the phone. I’ve been to
their apartment. It’s a guys apartment.
Hey, uh, Zee. It’s Sarah.
Hi other Sarah. Come
over for dinner
How about, instead of that,
which sounds super great,
you guys come over to our place
and we’ll host, okay?
They want us to go to them. They want
to host. Is that cool?
Uh yeah that works for us. What should we bring?
It’s on the Google Doc
I just sent you.
Okay cool put Noa back on.
[phone is clicked off]
Isn’t it so annoying when guys are
obsessed with you? Feel your pain girl.
Not even.
Story of my life.
I got the ingredients for the deli roll for Friday night.
For five people.
Yeah, why?
No reason.
Zee, you didn’t need to get this.
Sarah’s taking care of challah.
I know, these are just for me. Mmm
It’s like eating love.
Alright. What are you doing for dessert?
I don’t know.
You didn’t get the ingredients yet?
I’m just gonna use whatever we have here.
No, Zee, I just I want this to come out well so could you just be on top of it?
Sure, sure, I’ll get started as soon as you’re done.
Oh um it’s gonna be pretty late I’m
leaving myself all night for this.
For deli roll? Takes like an hour.
Well I know,
but I I’ve never done it before and
I want to, want to get it right, you know?
Awww. For Sarah?
Yeah I’m putting my all into it
and she’s gonna be tasting it
so in a way, it’s gonna be like she’s tasting my all.
Well I’m sure it’s gonna
taste delicious.
Thanks.
I’m saying, like, your all probably is delicious.
Thank you. I’m gonna do this.
Yeah, yeah
Thanks
All right, all right, all right step 1 preheat the
oven to 350 pre preheat the oven 350
Nope, that is the stove I know that’s the
stove I know that. How do you preheat the
oven to 350. I know you turn
it on but is there more to it than that
calling mom [voice of cell phone]
Did you remember the eggs, the yeast?
Yes of course I did. I’ve made challah before
So you’re an expert so why did you call me?
You called me.
You called her.
oh but that’s right so who are you going to?
Oh just some friends, new friends.
I hope not just female friends.
What’s wrong with female friends? She’s female.
She has enough female friends.
Okay, well
thanks for your help but I’m going to go now.
Will there be any boys at this meal?
Yeah probably, it’s not a big deal.
There are gonna be boys at the meal Avi.
MazelTov.
Wait, did you remember the eggs?
Yes.
They affect the texture of the
challah, sweetheart.
I remembered the eggs
Maybe you should buy a challah.
She wants to make challah, let her make challah.
Maybe I should make
you a kugel to bring, you could tell the
boys you made it and and they’ll think
you could cook.
Dina, leave the poor girl alone.
And it’s okay to lie for
this purpose– I asked.
I don’t need to lie.
I’m actually making a challah.
Okay and if it doesn’t turn out so well you’ll
have a funny story to tell your
grandchildren one day.
Im yirtzeh Hashem soon [in unison]
Perfect
Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me.
Looks like you forgot
I forgot to roll it.
Benny, I don’t think I got your order for dinner tonight.
I didn’t place one, I’m alright thanks.
It’s really no problem, anytime we have
late meetings like this we insist on
getting you dinner
I don’t need tonight really.
It’s because of that kosher thing, right? Don’t worry we
can order from wherever you want Katz’s,
Ben’s, that diner from Seinfeld…
I can’t stay for the meeting I’ve got to get
home for the Sabbath.
Oh, gotcha.
You’re not staying for the meeting?
I can only stay
for the beginning I have to leave early
for the Sabbath.
For Shabbos, I know. Between you
and me, you have a really good shot but
Mr. Morris can’t choose you if you’re
not there.
I know it’s just um maybe it won’t go that late.
What if it does?
You’re in my way Noa. I just knew this is my time.
it’s a shared bathroom
I know but
I called it
[voices talking at meeting]
let’s get my mascara I know not like a lethal weapon let me go underneath you just
go underneath
I think that’s mine, by the way.
Oooh.
time’s it?
650 Shabbat’s in 10 minutes
We should
probably get ready, put some clothes on.
yeah
[voice droning on at meeting]
hey good Shabbos!
hey good Shabbos!
So everybody’s pretty much ready.
You gathered everyone.
Yes, except for Noa she’s still davening but
that’s okay she takes forever.
She’ll be out in a minute
Great. So you were telling me that uh, oh
sorry, Sarah this is Ari , you just moved here.
Oh my g-d,
David it’s Ben.
Oh I’m sorry Ben I’m I’m not that great with names.
I didn’t knowthat you knew each other.
No no David, look. Ben’s over there.
Oh hey look there he is.
He looks really sad he’s sitting there
like all alone.
hmm
So Ari was telling me that he’s excited
to, how did you. how did you phrase this
meet them New York honey’s honies.
Hotties, but
yeah
Hotties.
Great. Uh you should go talk to him.
Oh no I don’t that doesn’t sound
necessary we’re not really that close.
Fine just go over there and invite him
to our meal.
You can’t Oh fine and then tell me to do the same thing
it doesn’t work like that
plus I’m busy right now I’m talking to
Ben, sorry Ari. Ari?
David just go over there, invite him to our meal and we’ll
meet you guys in my place okay?
Hey.
David.
You have a meal for tonight?
Excuse me?
If you want, we’re all eating
at Sarah’s tonight.
so oh will Sarah be there?
Yeah, yeah. Anyway you’re welcome to
join if you want but I’m sure you’ve
already got something going on right?
Yeah yeah I’m all set I’m eating at home tonight.
Alright.
Hey hey
everything okay?
Yeah yeah of course.
I had like kind of a rough week at work
it’s stupid.
Take that siddur shelf.
Good shabbos! night yes
and I know it’s an
exclusive firm people would do anything
to be a part of it. I’d do anything to be
a part of it. Apparently not.
huh you know some people might say the
same thing about being here and being a
part of this.
You know I I always forget
you’re a rabbi until you say something like that.
Okay.
Oh no that was great. I
feel much better
oh are you coming or what?
You got it rabbi.
oh you’re not supposed to take those.
right.
Whoa Zee where’d you learn how to do that?
These are beautiful.
Look, Sarah, I think you’re great,
you’re cute, you’re talented
you have a lot going for you
Thanks
hush. David is my best friend I would
literally forego tickets to spice world tour or
any subsequent reunion tour before I
betrayed him
plus my heart belongs to somebody else.
That was all wrong –every bit of that.
Look, I’m uh sorry for tempting you.
Really, could not be less of a problem.
[knock at the door]
Hey shabbat shalom, come on in.
Where’s Sarah?
Hi!
Noooo, other Sarah.
Uh yeah, we’re gonna have to deal with that.
She’s in the kitchen.
That sounds about right
Hey! [in unison]
Just kidding, I was just kidding.
David knows what I’m talking about, right Dave?
Okay let’s start I’m literally starving
um, okay do you have a Bentcher, siddur,
something
come on you know it by heart, Rabbi.
I believe in you
[starts kiddush]
you’re
the best
gonna be the best you I’m gonna
be all kinds of you nobody about you
thank you God
Hey so you uh come here often?
Oh you can’t talk to me
because you’ve already washed and you really like
the way that shirt looks on me. Wow,
that was nice, you didn’t need to say that.
I’m gonna go wash. I’ll be back.
Bereshut. Baruch atta Hashem, elokeinu melekh haalom, ha motzi lechem min ha aretz.
Amen.
Don’t I look so bohemian?
Yeah, your dress
is really reflective of a bohemian lifestyle.
Not, it’s just like clothing.
Yeah so I get up at like 6:00 every day
just pound the alarm
like a style of fashion.
No I get that.
It’s super in right now.
You know I feel like you don’t really know what you’re doing you know?
Right and it’s kind of born
out of a rejection of societal norms,
you know, expecting us to live in corporate
society and dress a certain way and
and you wear it well.
Thanks.
important to
look good and do you moisturize?
It gets my skin so fresh so clean, you
know, yeah what about you you how do you
take care of yourself? You take care of yourself, right?
yes yeah
Thank you so much for having me this was, this was fantastic.
ah any time I’m really happy you came.
I had no idea you were such a great cook.
I know it’s like a surprise people don’t know.
I I didn’t expect you you nailed it.
this is delicious.
Thank you…
You look fantastic.
Gold is totally your color.
isn’t it? I just realized this and
I feel like I should just only wear gold.
I mean royalty, winners, it’s you
yeah It fits me.
Yeah, Ithink so.
Thank you Sarah.
What?
Okay, this is getting ridiculous
Why don’t we just do nicknames?
Okay
okay uh Sarah and other Sarah.
Uh no, how about you can be SF and I’ll be Sarah.
or, or you’re Sarah Feldman and you’re Sarah Jacobs so why don’t we just call you Jacobs.
uh no no I don’t think so.
We can call you her uh Feldman.
No one else is Sarah.
she could just be Sarah. [in unison]
Ben
Sign her up. Jacobs. Can I get a napkin?
Zee, we have forks.
Wait wait wait wait you guys. we’re not actually calling me that, right?
Mmm this cake is amazing.
Sarah, we discussed this.
Okay wait, how about SJ, just like JLo? I don’t know
what you’re thinking
JLo uses the first syllable of her last
name and SJ are my initials but if
you think about it J is also the first
syllable of my last name ,
so it totally works.
Zee how did you make this?
I put my all into it.
Hey if we’re eating dessert you
and I should probably switch places, right?
[knock at door]
Jacobs you gonna get that?
Shabbat Shalom!
[loud voices]
Thanks for coming.
Great party.
this is not your house. You can’t just do
that.
No but it was so easy. One post on Shabbat.com then boom it’s a party.
Zee, you need to
learn how to listen not just with this
but with everything. I tell you not to
call and yet somehow you keep on calling
and now you’ve invited a bunch of
strangers over to my apartment.
You need to learn how to listen.
I did not know
you liked listeners I’ll do that.
Okay , great.
I’m listening what do you want?
I want you to bring me a beer.
I’m on it.
Hi, is this your place?
Yep.
Very nice. thanks for having us.
I’m Sarah, by the way.
I used to be Sarah.
Hey Noa, I’m gonna head out. Thanks so
much for having me.
No problem, thanks for coming. Have a great night.
You too, thanks.
hey I was just looking for you after
this we’re gonna go stargazing
You can’t go stargazing in the city
there’s too much light pollution.
You won’t be able to see anything.
That doesn’t stop us
from looking.
That might be deep .
Might be.
How about you tell Sarah and Jacobs and
I’ll go tell David.
Sarah just left.
Wait, what? David!
Hey
Sarah just left.
Oh oh okay thanks.
the party.
yeah okay yeah.
Go get her.
That’s what I was gonna do.
Well go
Sarah! oh sorry sir
hey Sarah, Sarah, hey.
Hey.
Hi. So the challah
was really good.
Thank you
Okay have a good night.
No, okay. um I wanted to know if I could if I could walk you home.
Sure.
Great.
But we’re kind of already here.
Oh in that case uh can I walk you
somewhere else?
Somewhere else?
Yeah and and then when we get there I’ll ask you if I can
walk you home again.
I like the sound of that.
And what would happen next?
Well I’d, I’d walk you home again.
You made the deli roll, right?
Yeah
It was so good.
I really want to
take you on a date this week mm
Just the two of us. We can actually sit near
each other you know maybe talk and stuff
eat something I’m sorry for interrupting.
I just, yeah. Does that sound okay with you?
Yes completely caught me off
guard but yes.
Okay
so you were complimenting my gourmet
cooking.
Gourmet?
Yeah Wow I don’t think I said gourmet.
No, I added that
for you but I think that’s where you
were going with it.
Okay.
Restaurant quality, perfectly plated
I appreciate it first time I made it
very yet never made that yeah yeah well
I made it for seven times but well you
know it’s the seventh time that counts.