Jersey Shore’s Vinny G Talks Boardwalk Snacks || SnackTalk

Jersey Shore’s Vinny G Talks Boardwalk Snacks || SnackTalk

November 1, 2019 9 By William Morgan


Please, someone, get this out of my sight.
Vinny’s appalled.
-Who wants to reinvent bacon?
Bacon is the greatest thing of all time.
-Welcome to “Snack Talk,”
the show that answers
every snack-related question
you could possibly imagine.
Ya know, I really love boardwalks,
and what’s not to love?
You got 30-year-old arcade games to play,
bootleg “Family Guy” T-shirts to scope out.
You can even get berated
by a dunk tank clown.
That’s great.
But the best thing about boardwalks,
it’s the snacks, the glorious snacks
and the possibility of taking these
boardwalk snacks to the beach.
But you know, in all my years of being on
and under boardwalks, I’ve never been able
to truly determine, which of these beach
and boardwalk snacks is the best.
So, who better than to help me out
with this conundrum, than
someone you may know
from the cast of “Jersey Shore.”
You may also have seen him lately
as the host of various
television programs.
There was even a time where he removed
a piece of lint from Pauly D’s hair.
Please welcome, Vinny G!
-Hey!
-What’s going on?
-How are you?
-Amazing, welcome to the Bodega.
Thank you for being here.
-Oh, thank you for having me.
-Let’s talk about some snacks.
-Let’s do it.
-So, Vinny.
-Yes.
-What’s going on?
-Nothin much, just ya
know, came to the Bodega,
I was hungry, wanted to get a snack.
-Fantastic.
-And then I ran into you.
-Yeah, well, here we are.
I’m glad that you’re so into snacks.
Vinny G, you are here to help us
get to the bottom of what is the best
boardwalk beach snack.
So let’s see, you’ve
been doing some cooking?
-We just did a show on the Cooking Channel
called “Vinny & Ma Eat America.”
My mom is this little Sicilian woman
who’s never left Staten Island before
so taking her out of Staten Island
all over the country to
try new food was hilarious.
Italian moms don’t like eating new things.
-What would you say
mom’s favorite snack is?
-Ah man, she likes the stuff that she makes.
So she makes this thing call struffoli.
You guys ever hear of struffoli?
-No.
-They’re like these fried honey balls.
So they take dough and
then you deep-fry them
and you dip them in honey and you put
rainbow sprinkles on top.
It’s like an Italian treat that
you eat during the holidays.
And they are delicious.
-Really?
-Yeah.
-Wow.
-I gotta bring some back for you guys.
-Yeah.
All right so Vinny you are here to help us
determine which is the absolute best
of boardwalk beach snacks.
-Yes.
-We’ve devised a method to help us
determine which is the best
of beach boardwalk snacks.
I was up all night thinking about it,
and this is a variation
on the classic game
(bleep), Marry, Kill, but without the
misogyny, commitment, or
potential for murder.
-Right.
-So we are calling this game,
Snack, Bury, Chill.
Snacks that we like, we’ll set them aside.
-So clever.
-For immediate consumption.
Great.
Thank you so much.
-Yeah.
-Snacks that we can’t stand,
we’re gonna bury them,
right in the sand.
And then snacks that we’re all right with,
we’re gonna chill in the cooler
and maybe we’ll have them later.
OK.
Enter, the sand.
-Ta-da!
-Pretty nice, huh?
Before we attack this task,
it’s important that we
take some precautions.
Here, I have a towel for you.
-Oh thank you.
-Absolutely.
And I have to, safety
first Vinny, safety first.
-Is that sunscreen?
-Yeah, who’s the white nerd now, Vinny?
-You just made it worse.
-Oh man this is a fried food feud.
-That is a hard one.
-Here we got deep-fried Oreos, churros and
please give us the
definitive pronunciation
of this treat.
-Zeppole.
-Not, zepolay.
-No, not zepolay.
Zepolay sounds like a
High-school douchebag.
-Fair, fair, I mean, how
do you feel about these?
-Oh man, you want me to go first?
-Yeah.
-OK, I’ll start it off.
So, I’m gonna kill the deep-fried Oreo.
-Yeah, why so?
-I’ve had them before,
and it’s a bit excessive.
-It’s a freaking novelty, Vinny,
I’m right there with you.
-It is, ya know, it’s just like,
who’s ordering, I’m a fat kid at heart,
but I’m not that fat.
I like a deep-fried piece of dough
is good enough for me, or just an Oreo.
I don’t have to blend them together,
and really feel like
I’m a piece of (bleep).
-I agree with you, look,
these two critters here
have stood the test of time.
They were here 50 years
ago, they’ll be here
50 years in the future,
but think about it,
the deep-friend fair food is falling off.
We’ve already moved on to unicorn bar food.
-Exactly.
-All right, well I’m with you on that.
-So I’m gonna bury the deep-fried Oreo.
-Put it in its quartz-based grave.
-This is kinda nasty now.
I feel like I’m making chicken cutlets.
(laughs)
OK.
(laughs)
-All right and then we’re
gonna move on to the churro.
Do you feel like the
churro is a West Coast
thing more than an East Coast thing?
I don’t see them a lot on the East Coast.
-From myself, as a Brooklyn person,
I hang out in the neighborhoods
that have a high Hispanic population.
-OK.
-And so I see them occasionally,
mostly sold in the subway.
-Mm.
-But-
-Or like real bodegas and stuff.
Yeah.
-But, you know, I don’t know, I
could go either way on these.
-Well I think a churro is just basically
like a long donut, or a
zeppole or something like that.
So I kinda see these as one in the same,
but you know what, because I
kind of have a liking for them
but they don’t really
do it for me that much,
I’m gonna chill it.
-Chillin’ on the churro.
-Chillin’ on the churro.
-Un churro frio.
So that means zeppoles.
-Oh, zeppoles I’m keeping, let me tell you
about this guy.
My mom makes zeppoles in Staten Island
and the pizzerias, they have zeppoles,
they are amazing. You put some
Nutella in one of these things,
you dip it in some powdered sugar:
You can’t get better in life.
Wow.
I will literally (bleep)
thinking about it.
-Oh man, fantastic.
-Not right now.
-Don’t think any harder.
-Yeah, sorry.
-Fantastic, all right, so
we will save the zeppole
for later snack consumption and
we will move on to the next round.
-I’m ready.
-All right.
The eliminations are gonna
get a lot more tricky.
I have a feeling you’re gonna be biased
towards one of these things.
So here we are, we have pizza,
a lobster roll, and fish tacos.
-Can you go first?
-Yeah.
-I have a lot to think about with this.
-Yeah, I will.
So I think the thing
that I wanna snack for me
is probably, and maybe
I’m being an elitist
but it’s probably the lobster roll
and I just think about the idea
of a lobster roll, and I
don’t want a lobster roll
in the city, I don’t want
a lobster roll at my house,
I want a lobster roll at the beach,
but I feel like I could
have fish tacos and pizza
anywhere and it would be fine,
but a lobster roll, in a bodega, no.
So for me, that is the snack of choice,
the problem is, I think the taco is a better
beach snack but I love pizza more,
and I hate to say this to one of the loves
of my life, but I think I’m gonna have to
bury pizza and chill on the tacos.
-Wow, that is shocking.
Each one of these things could be amazing
or they could be horrible.
-Well said.
-I am very biased when it comes to pizza.
I could have horrible pizza
where I would bury it.
So assuming, I just want
everyone to know this,
assuming that these are all the best
of the options here, this is pizza
from Staten Island, this is a lobster roll
they imported from Maine,
and that’s fish tacos
that doesn’t smell like, you know.
I will say, I am burying the fish tacos.
-Bury that fish taco.
-Because I just don’t know.
-We both agree on that.
-I just don’t know what’s up
inside of that fish taco.
So I’m burying that, this is disgusting.
-Thank you for your sacrifice.
-I am going to chill the lobster roll,
equally disgusting, ’cause you know
we gotta freshen that up a little bit.
And again, if this is the best pizzeria,
if this is a great pizza…
-We’re gonna snack on that pizza.
-This is the greatest
single invention on earth.
Whoever invented pizza, was
an Italian guy probably right?
-Oh I’m sure.
-I wanna thank him and kiss him,
’cause pizza, you can’t
go wrong with pizza,
you always have to keep pizza.
You can honestly put anything up here
and I’ll still pick the
slice of pizza on there.
-Pizza wins.
-So the fact that you
buried it, I don’t like you.
-I didn’t bury it, I chilled on it.
-No, I think you buried it.
-No, I buried the taco,
didn’t I bury the taco?
-I think you buried pizza.
-Roll back to see.
(tape rewinding)
I think I’m gonna have to bury pizza
and chill on the tacos.
-You buried pizza, even you’re a denier,
you’re a pizza denier.
-You sold me, Vinny, you changed me.
Now get these tacos out of our sight.
-Yeah, throw it back in the ocean.
-So Vinny, I want you know that I
personally drove all the way to the
Jersey Shore boardwalk to procure
these fine foods for you.
Don’t let the little ends
on the cup fool you, OK?
-I just saw a homeless
guy outside selling this.
-All right, how do you feel
about these frosty treats?
-All right, so right away, I’m going to bury
this little contraption
you call a snow cone,
right here. Snow cones, I
don’t really see the point
in having them; there
are so many better things
you can order as far as dessert goes.
It’s really just eating flavored ice.
Now I love these two
things, I love a milkshake,
and I love ice cream, right?
-Right.
-The milkshake to me, I get confused about.
You know when you go to a diner,
you order a milkshake, but it’s like,
do I eat it before I eat my meal?
Is it a beverage for my meal?
But to me, it’s dessert, but
I don’t know if it’s dessert.
You know what I mean,
I get really confused.
But I love milkshakes so I’m gonna chill
on the milkshake.
-Wow, you should be like a snack lawyer.
-I can talk about this all day.
And now on the boardwalk,
on a nice hot summer day,
you got an ice cream cone.
Don’t even overcomplicate it,
just get a nice twist, maybe
add some sprinkles to it,
but once you start messing
with all the other flavors,
I don’t (bleep) with it.
So, I’m gonna keep this.
-Fantastic.
-Yeah.
-All right, ice cream wins.
The next round.
Chocolate-covered bacon,
chocolate-covered frozen
banana, and watermelon.
This is the battle of the fruits.
I consider bacon to be kinda a fruit.
(laughs)
-Me too.
-All right, which one would you bury
and which one is the snack of your dreams.
-OK, right away, you gotta get this
as far away from me as possible.
What the hell?
As a bacon lover, I find this offensive.
Is this a real thing?
-Yeah, bite into it, bro.
-Someone out there, no.
Someone out there is eating.
I’ve heard of, even candy bacon,
you know when they put
a coat of sugar on it?
It’s a little excessive to me.
Who wants to reinvent bacon?
Bacon is the greatest thing of all time
and you want to put chocolate on it?
-Wow.
All right, bury it, bro.
-I’m burying.
And you know honestly,
I would bury it as well,
I think this was invented
purely for novelty sake,
to get likes on Instagram, and that’s not
the kind of food that I want on my set.
-Yeah, go back to Williamsburg.
-Indeed, well said.
Please someone, get this out of my sight.
Vinny’s appalled.
(snapping)
-Wow, I like the service around here.
-Keep this in, it will be great.
All right, now we’ve got
chocolate-covered banana
which is slowly melting onto me.
Or the watermelon.
Watermelon, it’s kinda like
nature’s candy, the watermelon.
-It really is.
You know, I’m going to have to
chill the chocolate-covered banana.
I mean, those things are amazing.
-Yeah.
-I’m not gonna lie, ya know.
They’re the perfect combination
if you want to get your fruit in,
and you’re chocolate and everything,
it’s a great, when you’re
hot, a great treat.
But I love watermelon,
and we’ve been looking
at all these (bleep) foods
that are gonna kill you,
you know, so.
Yeah.
For health purposes and to end this
on a nice healthy note…
-Watermelon.
-I’m picking the watermelon.
-I understand.
All right Vinny, I need
you to crown a victor.
We told these people
that we would give them
the absolute best of boardwalk snacks.
Which snack is the best?
-The pizza is my favorite food ever, right?
But it has to be good pizza.
But you could also get pizza anywhere.
You brought me here for a reason.
-I did.
-You wanted to talk about
a boardwalk snack, right?
-Give me the snacks.
-I think fried dough, powdered sugar,
wins takes everything for
the boardwalk consumption,
I’m going with the zeppole.
-There you have it my friends.
-It has a cool name, it’s
Italian — zeppole all day.
-There you have it, the zeppole,
is indeed the greatest snack for you
to consume on the boardwalk.
Vinny thank you so much for getting
to the bottom of what is the
best boardwalk beach snack.
-My pleasure.
-Listen, I gotta tell you, your swag
is starting to rub off on
me and I’ve been inspired.
Yeah it’s true, see the greatest thing
about having your own bodega is
after you’re done using it, you can
turn it into one heck of a club.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Zeppoles, the No. 1 beach snack.
-I’m outta here, loser.
-Aww.
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