If Meat Eaters Acted Like Vegans – Ultra Spiritual Life episode 35

If Meat Eaters Acted Like Vegans – Ultra Spiritual Life episode 35

July 29, 2019 100 By William Morgan


That salad’s totally grossing me out.
I’ve completely lost my appetite.
[gong]
How long have you been a meat eater for?
I only eat meat.
I’m going to the Meatstock Flesh Festival.
Are you goin’?
Yeah, I want the tofu spring rolls,
except I don’t eat tofu, so do you have like a
tofu-flavored chicken you can substitute in for me?
It’s not that vegetable eaters are bad people,
it’s just that they’re… terrible people.
This sausage is a meat-based
vegetable substitute for cucumber.
It’s got the taste and the texture
of an actual cucumber,
with none of the cucumber.
Eating plants makes your body
WAY too alkaline,
which will definitely kill you.
Do you really want that?
All you need is some meat
to be healthy and thrive.
You get everything you need from meat.
Beef is loaded with carbs!
Orcas are even more spiritually evolved
than humans, and THEY only eat
seal meat, so that means
humans should only eat meat,
because it’s the most spiritually evolved diet,
because of orcas.
Plants give off oxygen.
Why would you eat them?
Do you even know how dangerous deer are
when you’re driving your car?
If you don’t kill and eat deer first,
you basically want people
to get into car accidents.
The world’s a much safer place
if we eat the animals that could eat us.
Broccoli?
That’s what my food eats.
That’s my food’s food,
and I don’t appreciate you eating that.
You should eat Siberian tigers
to help them go extinct.
It makes it so that they can live on
through you and your children
for generations to come.
The best chance for the survival of their species
is for us to kill and eat them.
That coconut was gonna
grow into a palm tree.
Why would you eat that?
I could never eat plants that are
raised in crowded farms
in inhumane living conditions
with less than one square inch
of space per stalk,
stuck in the soil against their will.
Have you ever thought about
going meat-eater to help
save the planet,
or do you just not care about the earth?
Have you seen that Kalespiracy documentary?
You’ve gotta see it.
It’s so heartbreaking seeing
how all the plants are killed
and the deforestation from the plant farming
and unsustainable farming practices.
Kale farming is the number one
destroyer of the environment.
Once you see it, you’ll never
eat plants again.
As he redundantly repeated his
emotionally charged nutritional opinions
at me, I was instantly convinced
to become a meat eater.
JP was the most illogical,
condescending person I’ve ever met.
Saying something like that’s just
a symptom of being overly alkaline.
It just makes you mean
and you can’t think straight.
[gong]
So that you can be a less terrible person,
be sure to subscribe
to my carnivorous channel.
All those meat eaters in one place, it’s beatiful…
[dog chomping meat noise]
Hmm.
[softly] Gimme my steak.