I tried the Keto Diet (it sucked)

I tried the Keto Diet (it sucked)

July 16, 2019 100 By William Morgan


I’m not a diet person.
The idea of sticking to a set plan or rules
for a long period of time
makes me wanna
not do that
But the ketogenic diet was just so intriguing
to me
that I had to try it out
and it was a fun time that’s for sure!
In all of my research
I could not find anyone saying one negative
thing about it
so this is gonna be the first I guess
So yeah
Queue the intro!
♫ Chipflake Theme 8-Bit Remix by Tim de Jongh ♫
♪ Original by Lovprod ♪
Okay I’m going to explain this extremely
simplistically
there’s tons of resources from ACTUAL scientists
and stuff online
so please go look those up if you wanna know
what it’s actually about
but very very
VERY basically
on the Keto diet you eat mostly Fat
some Protein
and very little to no carbohydrates.
Usually your body gets its energy from the
carbs that you eat
but this way you’re cutting those out
and making it burn fat for energy instead.
The main reason I wanted to try it
was because of all the stuff you can eat
that is highly unconventional for a diet
y’no
bacon
cream
a whole lotta cheese
and apparently you could eat as much as you
want
and don’t have to go hungry
That sounded epic
Of course all I heard was
“bacon”
and
“as much as I want”
And everything I heard about it
was that it was this miracle diet
that changed people’s lives
gave them more energy,
made them fitter,
cured their depression,
brought their nan back to life
now I was overweight at the time
as diagnosed by my doctor
Y’no I liked to drinka tha beer
and eata the ice cream when I got sad
And I got sad A LOT!
So keto was really intriguing
and I decided I would try it out for myself
At first it was going pretty alright
I was thoroughly enjoying eating lots of sausage
bacon and eggs and at first
I was like “wow
this is the tastiest diet ever
I can’t believe people lose weight on this”
After a few days
I was not yet experiencing any of the side
effects of ketosis
and while reading more about it
I had my first realisation:
you have to eat a hecc of a lot of fat.
And there’s such a thing as eating too much
protein.
And thus began THE FATTENING
in which i dumped oil into everything
to try to get those fat levels up.
And it was disgusting.
I dunno but even though I knew it was what
I was supposed to do
and that it wasn’t bad for me
eating and drinking all of this grease
was so gross
I would always feel this gross film on my
lips
and the inside of my mouth
I could not get used to it at all
it felt like I’d chugged a litre of pure
oil
every time I ate or drank something
I soon became acquainted with another problem
as I went out to eat with friends.
We went to this burger place that tries REALLY
hard
to appeal to millennials
you eat off of trays
& drink pink lemonade out of mason jars
and they’re all like
“don’t forget to give us free advertising
by posting your epic burger pics
on all the social medias”
we went there ‘cause it had a low carb option
they had a burger where the buns were replaced
with lettuce
It was alright
but this was the point where I had my second
realisation:
I really like chips. (a.k.a fries for you non-brits)
& burger buns.
And potatoes.
And rice.
And chocolate.
And beer.
Pretty much all of my favourite foods are
full of carbs.
But I still wanted to stick it out for a while
eating out was gonna be a bit annoying
but I could always cook some nice stuff at
home
And while shopping for ingredients for said
nice stuff
I had my third realisation:
carbs are in a LOT of stuff.
Even things you would expect to have none
would have a little bit in them.
Which meant there were a hecc of a lot of
foods I couldn’t eat
a lot more than I expected.
So I turned to the internet for some recipes,
there I had my fourth realisation:
Germany was not really the best country to
be doing this particular diet.
While Keto was becoming a craze in America
it was not really known over here
so many of the ingredients needed for most
of the recipes
either were super expensive or just didn’t
exist.
And you can forget about finding keto-friendly
alternative foods in supermarkets.
Germany has only just discovered what Vegan
is.
So, during one of many very tiresome shopping
experiences
constantly checking details
and putting stuff back
because it had a few too many carbs
for the meal I was planning
I had my fifth realisation:
this is a lot more work than I thought
There was so much planning,
tracking
and calculations involved
that doing this diet was just too much work.
In the end I was in ketosis for maybe like
1 or 2 days
I knew this because I had INCREDIBLE stank
breath
which is one of the fun side effects of keto
and after that I stopped and ended up losing
exactly 0 weights
If I kept it up I probably could’ve lost
weight
and I’m still kinda curious about if it
would’ve worked
but the moment I started hating it
was when I bailed
because I’m not about to keep up a lifestyle
that I don’t enjoy
Since trying keto I’ve lost 10 kilos
and am no longer overweight
that was just from eating smaller portions
and dropping my beer allowance to one or two
on the weekends
I had this bad habit of eating to the point
where
I was about to explode and die in an extremely
gruesome and bloody fashion
I can imagine that keto might be faster
but to me being skinny but miserable is just
not worth it.
And I’m lucky enough to not be in a situation
where I need to lose a lot of weight immediately
so ima enjoy it okay?
So yeah
Keto wasn’t for me unfortunately
but it was a fun experience
Sort of
And that was my story.
I hope you enjoyed this video and until next
time..
Have a nice..
bagel or something idk