How I Went From Eating Disorders To Fitness Trainer – No Sweat: EP30

December 1, 2019 0 By William Morgan


So a question I get asked a lot is how I got
into fitness, and I have mentioned it in previous episodes but never really in full detail. This is a story that’s actually really personal
to me. Only very close family members and friends
know, but I feel that I’ve been here for a bit more than a year now. I feel like we’ve kinda had this relationship
now and now I finally feel ready to talk about it so I just hope that in sharing my story
it might maybe resonate with someone out there who’s going through something similar. So I think the very first time I was ever
conscious about my body image was when I was 12 years old. I kinda grew up with a lot of self esteem
issues. I attribute this largely to the fact
that my dad left when I was pretty young. And I’ve always just kind of had this anxiety
growing up that really impacted the way I saw people, my relationships and the way I
saw myself. I always felt that I needed to look a certain
way and present myself a certain way, if not I would have this anxiety of people leaving. Even as a child, I would remember weighing
myself every single day. Literally, if I put on 0.1kg, I would freak out. I think it also led me to start purging myself,
so there would be times when after I eat a huge meal, I would just go to the toilet,
throw it all up and go weigh myself. And hopefully the numbers don’t move. So I think my this time, I had a full blown
eating disorder. And I know a lot of you guys might think like
“If you just wanted to lose weight and be skinny then why not just workout?” The truth was, I hated exercise. I hated everything about sweating. I refused to engage in any kind of sports. So I basically relied on not eating to remain
skinny. When I was 17, my anxiety really worsened. It was a combination of many different factors. 1 was from family, from school. I remember all my thoughts were just very
negative. I pretty much hated myself. I didn’t see the point of living. That lack of self worth really spiralled me
into a really bad depression. And I think like one of the worst things was
that I would get anxiety fits? Sometimes I would just be walking on the way
home and I would just have this immense sense of pain and upset, and I would just start
crying and screaming, and I wouldn’t understand why. So my fits got really bad and I had to go
see a doctor who then diagnosed me with clinical depression and anxiety, and I had to be put
on medication for 2 years. Seeing a therapist did help a bit and I was
on medication, but I still felt personally that the depression was not going anywhere. In fact, the anxiety fits escalated to the point where I would get seizures in the middle of the night. I remember there was just 1 incident that
it was so bad, I fell, I hit my head. I remember having like a little black out. It was so bad that they had to put me in the
emergency room. That was really when I felt that I had hit
rock bottom. That was really like the wakeup call for me
because I just knew that if I continued like this, I would probably like… I don’t wanna say it, but I would probably
just kill myself because that was like a very big option for me, and I just knew that there
was just no way that I could like live on. That was really like the lowest of lowest
for me, and I realised that there was no amount of medication, and no amount of therapy that
was going to help me. Because I’ve tried all of that and it wasn’t
working, obviously. So I decided that I wanted to start taking
better care or myself, because if I don’t do it, no one else is going to. And I just thought that I need to start with
my physical health. Because I had absolutely no experience with
fitness, and I really hated exercising prior to that, I actually went online and went to go and find like workout tutorials and body weight exercises. So I’ll exercise at home and then I just felt this sense of accomplishment every time I completed a workout. There was like endorphins at the end that put my mind at ease and made me feel so good about myself. That was something that I never really had
experienced before. And from that, I was totally addicted. So I was working out at home and doing all
my body weight exercises and I decided that I wanted to add some challenge to my routine. So I decided to go online and get myself a
pair of dumbbells. So this is the first set of fitness equipment
that I’ve ever purchased for myself, and I wanted to get dumbbells because they were just great for me to do some strength training at home. I got them preloved because I was also a student,
that was probably like the cheapest option, so this was a good bargain that I found online. And after strength training, that was when
I started to see lean muscles growing in my body, and I felt so much stronger. I knew I wanted an extra challenge. That’s when I had a friend who used to go
to the gym very frequently, and I decided to ask him like “Hey, is it okay if I joined
you and can you bring me and show me how to lift the heavier weights?” And so that’s when I started going to the
gym with him. And after I started weight training, I saw
muscles. I felt stronger and I really just felt a confidence
that made me feel so much better about myself, which was so different from how I used to
see myself which is like, I was weak, I was not good enough, skinny and useless. Now I actually started to realise what it
meant to love yourself and to feel good about yourself. And in the past, when I put on weight, I would
just totally freak out. But now that I was lifting weights and building lean muscles, I was gaining weight but it was healthy weight. And I started to appreciate my body because
these were hard earned muscles. And just overall, my relationship with food
improved tremendously because I was eating to nourish my body, and not starving myself
and looking at food as something that like an enemy to me. And besides the physical, just mentally, that
was the biggest change for me because now I was able to find a way to cope with my anxiety,
to cope with my depression, and to feel this sense of confidence that I can really like
really overcome any challenge. And I think it was seeing this changes through
my physical and mental wellbeing that I started to improve all other aspects of my life. I improved relationships with my family, my
friends. It just kind of made me feel like I could
operate at a much bigger potential. So I saw how fitness helped me and I decided
that I wanted to share this with more people. Which is why I became a personal trainer! And I started to train girls. I started to help people feel that same sense
of accomplishment and transformation that I did. And I’m just so grateful that I can do this
as a job and to also create videos for you guys! And of course now you know I don’t use 3kg
dumbbells anymore. I get to go to the gym and lift a lot heavier
weights, but I still keep these for sentimental value. They are very useful, they’re still really
hardy and I feel like it’s time for me to pass them on to someone else who might be
kickstarting their own fitness journey. So I decided to list them on Carousell, along
with a lot of other preloved items, to create a whole fitness starter kit. And this is when I want to introduce the concept
of reboxing. So I’m sure you guys have seen a lot of these
unboxing videos where influencers get boxes from clothing brands and makeup brands and they take out the products to showcase what’s inside the box. I get those too from time to time and while
I’m really happy to receive all these products, I feel that it’s pretty wasteful because a lot of the times, the colours don’t really match with my skin tone. Or if its a clothing brand, sometimes the
clothes are not really my style. So the concept of reboxing is putting together
products that you either don’t use or that are preloved, and passing it along to someone
who might need it a lot more. We live in a society with there’s so much
buying and throwing away and a lot of waste. And I just feel that if we can find ways to
reuse or repurpose things that we no longer need then we won’t be contributing to that
waste culture. And a marketplace like Carousell is just the
perfect place for that. Carousell is a place where you can buy and
sell preloved items. You get to declutter, and someone else gets
to buy your preloved items and enjoy the benefits from them so everyone wins. So this is my box and I’m gonna show you guys
what’s going in there. These are my trusty 3kg dumbbells. The next item going into my box is an outfit
from Lululemon. These were actually my first pieces of items
from Lululemon. Next up are my resistance bands. These are my very first resistance bands that I ever owned and they’re gonna do amazing things for you. The next thing going into the box is this
protein shake bottle. I just really like the size of this bottle
because it fits very nicely in your purse. The next thing going into my box is this massage
ball and a foam roller. And these are tools to help you massage your
tensed muscles. I actually developed this products as my first
line of merchandise back when I was 20 years old. These products are actually really rare because
obviously my company, TN Fit Co., doesn’t exist anymore, I only ran it for a year. But I still have a couple of these excess
products lying around the house and I’m thinking, I might as well give it all to someone else
who’s gonna reap benefits from it. So I’m gonna list my fitness starter kit on
Carousell as a giveaway, and in addition to this, I’m also gonna be throwing in a month’s
worth of personal training with me. So in reboxing all my preloved fitness essentials,
I hope this kit is gonna long way in helping someone else kickstart their fitness journey. So a week ago I listed my preloved fitness
starter kit on Carousell and I asked you guys to comment and tell me why you guys wanted
to win it. So I read through a lot of your comments,
a lot of y’all shared your struggles with fitness. I just wanna thank you guys so much for being
so honest with your stories. It really resonated with me and I just wished
so much that I could meet all of you. But I could only choose 1 winner and that
winner is Vina! Vina: Hi everyone. Tyen: Yay, congratulations on winning the
giveaway! Thank you so much. So Vina, what made you decide to take part
in this giveaway? Actually I followed you on Instagram and I
watched a lot of your YouTube videos, and I really find you very inspiring. And you’re someone that I would really want
to learn from. Thank you so much! That means a lot to me
and I’m really excited to be training you as well, and you’ve just won yourself 1 month
of personal training with me, courtesy of Carousell. And you’ve also won all my reboxed preloved
fitness items, so this is gonna be great for you to really kickstart that journey. Are you ready for your very first session
with me? Yup! I’m super ready for this. Great, so put down our stuff and lets go! Today, I’m just gonna basically bring you
through what it’s like to have a very first session with me. I wanna really get a sense of what your fitness
level is like, and then just talk about what your goals are moving forward. This is actually a dumbbell from my fitness
starter kit. First one we’re gonna do is some goblet squats. Squeeze the dumbbell at the top here, you’re
gonna sit back into a squat. Break at the hips, and then push into your
heels and come up. Great news is that you can keep this at home
so you can practice with it and really increase the intensity of your workout. Come on you can do this! 3, 2, and drop. High 5! Okay so now I wanna show you how to use a
foam roller and this is one of the items that I put in the box. Lie down on top of this, lift your hips off
the floor slightly, and just roll. And this is gonna help you to just relax that
area, relax those tensed muscles, and it also gets my blood flowing in that area. So it’s really good for blood circulation. You really feel like relieved right? That was your very first session with me,
how do you feel? I really feel like much more motivated, and I’m gonna be very excited for our whole month of training. Yeah! I think we have a very exciting month
ahead. Alright so we’re having our post-workout smoothie
right now and you did a really great job so I ordered you a berry protein smoothie. It has a good amount of carbs, because you
wanna eat carbs right after a workout. And also some protein. You want it to repair our muscles, to help us recover and also help us to build lean muscle. I’m just really glad that you took part in
this reboxing giveaway. Actually I was looking to get a new set of
dumbbells online so that I could use them at home to exercise, and I’m really glad that
I got these dumbbells from you. These items have like some story behind them
and you can pass on the story to me, to like create new stories for these dumbbells and
the rollers and stuff. And through Carousell, we got to meet each
other, we got to connect and I’m just really looking forward to training you now and to
see you really progress in your fitness journey. We’ve come to the end of today’s episode. Make sure you check out Carousell to experience
a win-win situation like me and Vina did, link is in the description down below. And with all our other videos, please remember
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