Has health frozen over? Let’s talk about that. ( music playing ) Good mythical morning! Thank you for making us
a part of your daily routine and starting each show with
a thumbnail outlined in green. – Yes, there it is!
– Remember that! Big show today. Mike and Alex are
going to destroy or they have destroyed
a mystery object and we’re gonna find out
can we guess what it is. We’re also gonna see if Rhett
can tell the difference between a Grammy
nominated artist song and bathroom wall poetry. But first, it is January and the most popular
resolution that you’ve probably already
broken is to eat healthy. Yes, now one way so-called
healthy food companies try to make it easier to get
healthy, uh, or eat healthy even when you have no time
is frozen meals. So we are headed
to the frozen food section. It’s time for… Okay, here’s how
this is gonna work. We’re gonna be tasting
some healthy frozen foods and then guessing which healthy
frozen food brand it’s from. Here are the brands
we have to choose from. We’ve got Weight Watchers’
Smart Ones. Those meals are
points based. Uh-huh.
Lean Cuisine, which is calorie controlled,
200, 300 calories, uh, – range is what–
– Right, low calorie. Healthy Choice.
Their Website says that meals are cooked
with steam. So, look out
for the steam. Okay, and then
there’s Evol, – which is love–
– Evil. – Evil. Evol.
– Evol. I don’t think
they call it evil. It’s love spelled
backwards because according
to their mission statement, “Looking in the mirror and
seeing the way we eat and live.” Dot, dot, dot. – I don’t know
that’s all I read.
– I think you said– I think the mission
statement is about that. Not that. Their mission statement is to
get you looking in the mirror. We’ve got Atkins,
of course, which is very, very low carb,
high fat, high protein. And Amy’s Kitchen. All of Amy’s food
is vegetarian. Okay, and we got a little
fact sheet here with us with a little additional
information to help us make
informed choices. Let’s bring in
the first item. Look at this.
Here we got it. Is this all of it
or just some of it? – Yeah, that is not exciting.
– Not a lot of it. Which immediately
gives me a clue that this might
be very low calorie. Like 200-300 calories,
which will make it Lean Cuisine. Some rice.
Oh and there’s little bit– – Mushroom.
– hint of a mushroom. – Mmm.
– I could eat the whole thing. It’s not bad–
a sweetness to it. – That’s the sugar snaps peas.
– Yeah, it is. I didn’t know there was
sugar on sugar snaps. Um, not bad. – It’s not– not great.
– Not good. It does taste healthy.
I’ll put it to you that way. Uh, this one brings
back memories. I believe I know
which one this is, because I ate a lot
of these as a kid ’cause my mom had ’em
in the freezer. – Yeah, I– well–
– I’m saying this is– – You think it’s Lean Cuisine?
– Lean Cuisine. Well it feels
incredibly low calorie, which makes me think
that you’re probably right, but I also think that this
could’ve been steam technology, because of this
plastic bowl. Feels very steam technology. So just in the name
of variety I’m gonna go
with Healthy Choice. Okay. Okay, so our first choice
is safely in the microwave, and we’re moving on
to this square pizza, which is not from any
of these places. This is from Buies Creek
Elementary school. – Okay?
– No, no, no, dude. – Our pizza was rectangular.
– Rectangle. Well don’t ruin it for ’em.
They don’t know. This is perfectly square, which is only for people
on a diet. And it’s also scary. You know square things
do have less calories. And are you saying
it’s scary because it could poke you
in the eye? No, ’cause it’s just
too perfect. Didn’t make eye contact with him
when that happened. – Hmm.
– You know, I feel like rip it in half,
let’s taste the middle. ’cause tasting
the edges is not– we’re just gonna say
how bad it is. – It’s not good.
– Boy, that is bland. That is a backwards way
to make a pizza. You see where I’m going
with this? You think this is evil? This is an evil pizza, because– when you ruin pizza– man, that is a bad place
to live. Yeah, I wanted to say
this might Amy’s Kitchen because it’s all
vegetarian. You know that there’s no Amy? – No.
– It’s just Rachel and Andy. They started it together.
There is no Amy. – Who the crap is Amy?
– I don’t know. – So they’re deceptive.
– I’ve never had Evol, so– maybe– am I– it sounds like
I’m saying evil. I don’t know
if you guys knew that. When you came up
with your– I’m gonna go with my instincts
about squares and deception. We didn’t like
the pizza. Can we be any clearer? What the heck is this? I can’t tell. – Is that crackers on top?
– It smells like– I think it’s tortilla
crumbles, which means
it’s not Atkins. Mmm, you’re right, Link. – Should we mix that up first?
– No, no, no. Eat it like a casserole.
Oh, it’s got pasta in it. Definitely not Apkin–
Apkins. I need some napkins
with my Apkins. It’s definitely missing several ingredients
that would make it good. Yeah. First thing I noticed but that’s
been the case with all of these. Somebody had
a severe mix-up. This is– it’s got
spicy tortilla– – Oh it’s spicy.
– And pasta. This is like an Italian
Mexican melding of weight loss. You know what? It’s for people
who wanna lose weight, but go to the Mexican
restaurant and the Italian restaurant
in the same night. I think this might be Amy’s
and I’ve already guessed Amy’s. I was thinking
the same thing. I totally agree,
because the more I eat it, it doesn’t taste bad. They do like to put the spice
in the Amy’s. Again with the deception. Yeah, they cover up the lack
of sugar, fat, or any redeeming qualities
with spice. Which is not a redeeming
quality in my book. But it doesn’t taste bad. But I do believe
that anyone who combine those ingredients
in that way is evil. Okay, moving along
to this pasta dish. Ravioli wrapped
in a paper bowl. It looks like your mom
just threw some leftovers into a bowl
from the potluck on Sunday. But does it look like something
that Oprah would enjoy? – That’s the question.
– Yeah. Because, you know, she’s big
into the Weight Watchers. Um, according to my cheat sheet
she owns a 10% stake and after her amazing
Golden Globes speech, which I saw in real time
and was riveted by, the side effect
of that was that Weight Watchers stock
went soaring and she earned
$36 million. Boy, it’s great to be Oprah. Oh, there’s green in there. Yeah, that’s what makes it
Weight Watchers. Other Weight Watchers
spokespeople– Jessica Simpson,
Charles Barkley, Jennifer Hudson,
DJ Khaled. Kaled or Khaled?
Kaled? Kaled? – DJ Khaled!
– Khaled. Do you picture him sitting down
with this bowel and eating it? – Actually, yes.
– I could definitely see him. He’s eat two or three. I can picture him
eating anything. Doing it right now. But that is not
what’s going on here. – I don’t know I feel like–
– It’s not bad. All right, since we talked
so much about Oprah– I don’t know it’s kind of
a one-dimensional meal. I think Healthy Choice
does that. Where it’s just one thing. Well, Lean Cuisine– now I’m contradicting myself. Lean Cuisine is an offshoot
of Stouffers. And this bowl has a very
Stouffery quality to it. Don’t you think? Stouffers cuts
corners a lot. What do we have here? Some sort of beans
and rice thing. Is that cheese
on top of it? It looks like a ghost
took a crap on a TV dinner. – In this area.
– Why do so many
of these meals look like– you were just–
you were definitely going through the leftovers
and throwing whatever
you could find together. – Well, I’m sure that the–
– Is that part of the aesthetic? I’m sure the outside of the box
didn’t look like this. – Oh, let me mix that up.
– Is that creamy? – Is it creamy?
– It’s creamy, it’s not cheese. It’s some sort of cheese sauce
or non-cheese sauce or– Who am I kiddin’? I have no clue
what this is. Well, it can’t
be Atkins, though, because it’s got beans
and rice, right? We’re both holding on
to our Atkins fork. – Well neither–
– Always hold on
to your Atkins fork. And Weight Watchers. We both have the same two. – Oh really?
– Let’s dink one. – We haven’t done that yet.
– You don’t wanna dink me, man. – I’m a little sick.
– Oh really? – Unless you want it.
– Is that not a fresh fork? It is a– no.
Yeah, it is a fresh fork. – Well, dink it.
– You can dink it. Don’t double dink it. – Man.
– That’s the best thing so far. By a long shot. Which just to clarify,
still means it’s horrible. – I mean–
– No, no, this is good. It needs salt. Sodium is bad for you. Yeah, it needs something
bad for you. I think that’s the thing
all of them’s missing. Um, I don’t know. Do you mind if I eat
this whole thing right now? A healthy breakfast
I guess. All right, so we both have
Atkins and Weight Watchers, and then we get
to do a switcheroo, Um, after the next round, but it’s not Atkins so I gotta
vote Weight Watchers, ’cause it’s got rice,
right? – Yeah right.
– You love it? I really like it.
I really like it. – It’s the best thing I’ve had–
– I need to intervene. in the past three hours. – So what are you voting for?
– I’ve been up for three hours. I gotta vote Smart Ones,
’cause it’s not Atkins. Well, that same ghost that took
a crap on those beans and rice, – Uh-huh.
– he vomitted into this. Oh, and now
it’s just sliding off. Oh, look at it,
it’s monolithic. It’s monolithic. – Now don’t–
– Word of the day, kids. Don’t spill it.
Okay, now is this one huge– I think it’s–
is it one big ravioli? – It’s one big–
– That is an accomplishment. I’m gonna need another fork
in order to– I’m so impressed
by this. It’s one big ravioli, Link! How do they– I think
that might just be a lasagna. Is a lasagna sealed on the side
technically a ravioli? Yes.
Absolutely. It’s got some sausage. It’s very meat forward. Just like me. Well, just like you, too,
I mean really. That’s not– – Like all men.
– That’s not bad. Well, I think one thing
we’ve also learned is that Atkins does some stuff
that looks like carbs, because everything’s
had carbs. We’ve hung Atkins around
and now I’m just– I’m just putting it here
because it’s all I got left. – Yeah me, too.
– You, too,
only have Atkins left. I would say that’s one
of my favorite dishes so far. – It’s not bad.
Not bad at all.
– Not bad. – Not badkins.
– I’ll have some more. DJ Khaled!
And I think it is Khaled. – Yes.
– Tell it– tell us
what we got so far, Khaled. He’s in the house. Woman:
That’s me, uh, DJ Khaled. Well, before I tell you
what your points are right now I wanna tell you
what’s on the line because the winner
gets a much-deserved and needed deep dish pizza. – Yes!
– Oh nice! “Khaled”:
Not diet, it is deep dish. The loser has to take a shot
of healthy, bitter greens. So with that being said, Link. With that being said
we got some bacon, ’cause we can’t go as long
as we have in this episode without eating
something good. You have two correct. Congratulations, Link. And, Rhett,
you have four correct. Oh!
Yeah! All right, I’m making
some changes right now. Um, I believe that this– I think you were right
about this. – Yeah.
– Sweet sesame chicken. That’s not Lean Cuisine, though,
you’re wrong about that. This is Lean Cuisine. Smart One– I actually think
this is Atkins. – It has some–
I think we’re right.
– Must be. – Not–
– I’m not changing any of ’em. Because I feel like
I’ll just screw it up. I think Smart Ones
is the pizza, and then I think– I have no clue
what Evol is, but that is my–
my final– What I will say
is I think that I would make the Santa Fe
rice and beans Amy’s, but I don’t wanna mess
with the mojo. So I’m gonna let it stick
where it is. All right, let us know, Khaled. “Khaled”:
you have four correct. Link, you still
have two correct. I don’t know, man. Bring me that
deep dish pizza! ( singing )
All I do is lose, lose, lose,
no matter what. It doesn’t seem right
for you to– to do this to me. It’s very right. But you were very,
very wrong. ( coughs ) Oh gosh, grass clippings. And some sort of putrid,
ditch water. Mmm. Congratulations, man.
You can have the– you can have a little bit
of that to wash it down. All right, stick around
because next we’re gonna see if you can guess what item
Mythical crew members, Mike and Alex, completely
destroy just for us. And we’re gonna see
if we can, too. Link:Your mornings
just got better with our Boiled For Safety mug
available at Mythical.Store.