Everyday Dilemmas II: Milner and Robertson | Pineapple on pizza, meal deals & chicken or the egg?

Everyday Dilemmas II: Milner and Robertson | Pineapple on pizza, meal deals & chicken or the egg?

November 6, 2019 100 By William Morgan


Does pineapple belong on a pizza?
Everyone’s saying I’m gonna go Ribena.
No, no, I’m the same, James.
Divock Origi – what a man.
But you will never take our freedom!
This is the last year I’m doing this.
Right, James, we’re back.
First question.
Anything from a lob wedge to…
A 7-iron, Louis.
..a bladed wedge, to a chip back
through the green.
I think I’d use a wee 56 degree wedge, James,
get it up in the air.
Probably put in the bunker.
Yeah, blade the life out of it through the back.
Sounds good to me –
and throw the club in the trees.
James, good question.
Great question.
One of my bugbears, this.
Well-done, miles off it.
Who has their steak well-done?
Just get rid of all the taste
in the steak and have a bit of rubber.
The way you’re looking tells me
you’re a well-done man.
No, no, I’m the same, James, I’m the same.
Eh, James, I’m not gonna lie –
I love my steak well-done.
– Why?!
– It’s the way I’ve been brought up, sorry.
– Why?
– I don’t really like the redness in it.
That’s one of my bad traits.
As soon as I buy something I just rip
the tag off it without even trying it on.
So I’m stuck, as soon as
they don’t fit or anything, I’m…
Yeah, but surely you’d try it in the shop, no?
I know, but, James, it’s 2019 now. It’s online
shopping, do you know what I mean?
It’s online.
What, so it comes to your house,
you rip the tag off before you even try it on?
Yeah, cos it’s uncomfortable
when you put it on.
What, to try it on for 30 seconds? Wow.
Well, I’ll raise you on that. Obviously you
just do it online by the sounds of it,
but when you go to a shop, you’ve
done your shopping, you get it home
and the tag’s still on it. Like, the security tag,
they haven’t taken it off.
Yeah, I’ve still got a pair of shorts
with them on it.
How annoying is that?
Shopkeepers, take note!
So, can you?
If you keep the tags on it, it’s a free hit, innit?
Nobody knows that you’ve not…
But why would you wear it
if you don’t like it?
Unless you think it’s good, it’s one of them…
You put it on and you see the lads
and you’re buzzing,
and then someone goes,
“WHAT have you got on, mate?”
‘Dbrode323’ – yes, you can return it.
Oh, dear.
I think you’ve got to find a new girlfriend.
She’s got to get with the programme,
hasn’t she?
Cal, she’s not the one for you.
Yeah, it’s good viewing.
It is, to be fair, I like going on
James’ Insta, so…
If she can’t accept your one true love,
then I would just move on from it.
She’s not good enough for you
anyway, Cal, you’re a good man.
Robbo on a unicorn, nothing better.
I feel as if I know him quite good now.
Yeah, you’ll find a better one, don’t worry.
Tobi-as Holtren, what a name that is.
To-bias.
To-bias, even.
Tobi-as, To-bias.
Good profile picture as well,
Hendo lifting the trophy.
Nice.
Good question.
For me, it’s in the morning, James.
The first thing I do when I get up
in the morning – having a shower.
I don’t get people who don’t.
It depends what you’ve been doing during
the day as well though, doesn’t it?
I actually know someone who,
because they wanted longer in bed,
used to go to bed in the clothes
they were going to work in the next day.
Clever, clever.
Sleep, get up and go straight to work.
I can understand that.
What about creases,
you’ve been sweating in it…
There’s so many things wrong with that.
Creases? Pull a jumper over it.
Sorts the crease right out.
What’s your sandwich?
Maybe like a chicken tikka sandwich.
– Really?
– Hm, I like chicken tikka.
Can’t have any salad or nothing.
BLT for me, I think. Got everything in that.
(Oh, I don’t like lettuce or tomato, so…)
Drink? I’d go a bottle of Irn-Bru.
I don’t mind Irn-Bru. It’s a bit sweet, innit?
We’ve actually took some
of the sugar out, James.
So I’d go chicken tikka,
Irn-Bru and a Galaxy.
I think you go crisps if you’re hungry.
Er… Drink?
Everyone’s saying I’m gonna go Ribena,
I don’t know…
Don’t know, if I’m going fizzy,
probably Coke or summit.
Maybe Discos. Can’t beat Discos, can you?
Don’t stop, Callum.
If you watched that once a day, you’d be
in a good mood for the rest of your life.
You with a wee tear in your eye at the end,
just pulled on the heartstrings, James.
There’s worse things
to be watching, isn’t there?
Aw, what a comeback.
Divock Origi – what a man.
Gini Wijnaldum.
Robbo! Took himself out of the game –
“Gini Wijnaldum, on you go and get us to
the final, and we’ll do the rest.”
Love it!
“Gaffer, get me off. I’m not gonna win
you it, am I? Gini will go on and win it.”
Get you, left-back, sorted.
That’s a shock, me having to
cover for you again…
Yeah, that’s fine, it was all worth it, wasn’t it?
You’ve got a winners’ medal now.
Keep watching it, Callum,
that’s what I would say.
“We conquered all of Europe.”
Huh?
What? What a hell of a question that is!
How did the first chicken just appear?
That’s a good question, that.
It must have been an egg.
And then the chicken came out the egg.
So where did the egg come from?
I wish he never asked it now though,
because I’m baffled by it.
The chicken or the egg?
Maybe it came from that bird
that follows you around.
I’m convinced I have a bird
that follows me round.
Every morning I get woken up
by the same noise.
It goes, “Cuckaw-caw, cuckaw-caw.”
That’s it.
I’d go the egg, but hell of a question.
That’s the best question we’ve had.
I don’t watch as many as some
of the other boys, to be fair.
If you’re gonna watch a series,
I would recommend Line of Duty.
I’m on series three now
and it’s one of the best I’ve watched.
Casa de Papel, is it?
Sorry, what-a-pa-pa?
What was that?!
‘Money Heist’, in English.
That’s good.
What’s your favourite film? Of all time.
Shawshank Redemption.
It’s up there.
My favourite’s definitely Braveheart.
Braveheart, yeah…
Nearly went for that.
Braveheart’s up there for me,
any time I need motivation.
“You can take our lives,
but you wil never take our freedom!”
100 per cent yes.
100 per cent yes.
James…
this is over.
This is the last year I’m doing this.
– 100 per cent.
– It’s nowhere near it.
It’s a fruit!
What’s tomato?
It’s a veg!
Is it a fruit?
Yeah, but tomato isn’t, like…
– Do you put tomato on a pizza?
– Well, tomato…
Do you tomato on a pizza?
Do. You. Put. Tomato. On. A. Pizza?
Yeah, yeah, d’you know what,
you’re right, but…
– So can pineapple be on a pizza then?
– Pineapple, it’s tangy…
It’s perfect, the contrast.
D’you know what?
Let’s have a vote on Twitter.
– Ham and pineapple.
– You are joking.
You get meat and then
your pineapple contrast.
You put tomato on, you’re…
Your argument’s got shut down like THAT.
Pineapple cannot be anywhere near a pizza.
Well, you’ve just told me cos it’s a fruit,
so what’s your other reason?
No, but it’s a tangy fruit.
Would you put an orange on a pizza?
I wouldn’t personally, no.
What’s the difference between that
and a pineapple?
They’re both tangy fruits.
Just works, doesn’t it?
James, I’m not giving you this one, sorry.
Gabriella, no. No to pineapple.
– James says yes.
– Yeah, don’t listen to him.
It’s the most exotic thing you’ve ever done.