Communion on Keto – Low Carb Christian (Comedy)

Communion on Keto – Low Carb Christian (Comedy)

October 28, 2019 6 By William Morgan


– Hello, good morning.
We’re receiving communion this morning.
Here are the elements.
– Yeah, excuse me, before you run off,
do you happen to know if
this is keto-friendly?
It doesn’t have a nutritional
label or anything on it.
Do you perhaps have some
literature or maybe a handout?
– I’m sorry, no, I don’t
have anything like that.
– Yeah, no, I’m sorry, it’s just
I’m in deep ketosis right now,
so I kinda need to know where this falls
on the glycemic index.
Do you by chance have a carb count
for the Body of Christ?
– I don’t–
– I just need the net carb count.
I’m sure there’s gotta be
some dietary fiber in here.
I can subtract that.
(sighs)
– I think it’s more
about what it represents,
doing it in remembrance.
– Are you sure y’all don’t have, like,
maybe a fathead version or
something made with almond flour?
– I don’t even know what you just said.
I don’t know what a fathead is.
I just, I pass the elements out.
It’s a very small amount.
I’m sure it’ll be fine.
– Yeah, but it’s just, I
have like a 20-carb daily max
and I’m checking MyFitnessPal,
and there is literally nothing,
no body of, Jesus’ body,
Jesus bread, there’s nothing.
Okay, Lord please remove
all the carbs from this.
Hey, wait, before you
go, what about the juice?
Do you happen to know
what it’s sweetened with?
Please tell me it’s not
high-fructose corn syrup.
– It represents the blood of Christ,
which washes away every sin.
Even carbs.
– But do y’all have one sweetened
with stevia or monk fruit?
– Sir, I’ve got other people
I’ve gotta pass out to,
I’m gonna have to go, just…
– Okay, here goes nothing, Lord.
– Oh my gosh, I am so sorry,
can you believe that guy?
– Thank you so much.
Hey, by the way, are these gluten-free?