Bull Testicle Breakfast Burrito Taste Test | FOOD FEARS

Bull Testicle Breakfast Burrito Taste Test | FOOD FEARS

August 6, 2019 100 By William Morgan


(Jordan grunts) – Ah, no. (upbeat music) – Welcome to Food Fears where I make something
you hate taste great. Today’s guest once twerked so
hard he threw his back out, Jordan Morris.
– Hi. – [Josh] Hi welcome, how’s the back? – Well, the fact isn’t
true, that’s not true. – Oh.
– But I wanna go with this. So my back is great and I’ll be twerkin’ at Bonnaroo in no time. – And really– – Is that where someone twerks? – I think so, people who look like us tend to only get laughed out when we twerk so that was really confusing. I can’t even start to twerk so hard that it hurts anything except my pride which is already so
just down in the toilet. – Aw, come on, you have
lots of great talents. – That’s all I ever wanted
to hear you say to me, Dad. (both chuckle) – No problem, son, wow. You’ve gotten psychological
like immediately. – It always has, Food Fears, there’s a lot of kind of Oedipal things going on. – Sure.
– And you don’t have a ton of experience eating gross
foods as it is, right, you’re a little bit
virginal in this regard. – Yeah, I definitely, you
know, have a delicate tummy. – Okay, that’s a terrible start. – I have a delicate tummy
and I’m a coward so– – Oh my God.
– Those things mainly keep it so that I’m
only eating at Chili’s. – Well that’s fair. You have a lot of balls just
to show up today on this show. – Thank you.
– And that’s very convenient because we will be eating balls. – Ho, wow.
– We are eating, that is a whole bull’s testicle. – When you said balls, when
you said you have a lot of balls, I’m like I bet
we’re gonna eat balls. – I saw the fear.
– And now, there’s a ball. That’s one ball.
– That’s just a single ball. I saw the glint of fear
in your eye and I was like wow, this man is a coward.
– Ooh. – Today’s going to be rough. Yeah so before I can make you
a dish that I am convinced will make you fall in love
with the whole testicle– – Wait what animal’s ball is this? – Does it matter? Are you kosher? – (chuckles) I guess not, I
guess I’m just curious now. – It’s a bull’s testicle.
– Okay a bull. – [Josh] It is a beef ball so– – At least it’s a mighty animal. That we’re consuming. – A noble bull’s testicle.
– Wow. – Yeah and you will attain
all its vitality, of course, through consuming it.
– Oh good. – That is how it works so if
you’re worried about that. – I wasn’t but–
– Oh. – That’s good to know. – So we need to taste this
in its most pure form. This has simply been
boiled and chilled down. As a gesture of humility,
I throw myself before you and I will eat the testicle with you and I need to get your genuine response to how you feel about this so I can know– – I will not sugar-coat it.
– Make you fall in love with it. Please don’t sugar-coat it. – [Jordan] Actually could
you sugar-coat this? Literally it might make it taste better. – It’s just testicle brulee,
I just blow-torch the sugar. – (chuckles) Yeah, a testicle churro. – [Josh] So we can just split that apart. – Oof.
– Placed like that, and then as is customary on this show– – [Jordan] Why does it have a
vein of something in it, ugh. – [Josh] I don’t know but
it’s incredible rude to ask. – Oh you’re right. – [Josh] So as is
customary, we touch our tips and we tip it and dip it, cheers. – Tip, ugh. I would love some dip for this. (grunts) Ah, no. Okay, I got like my teeth–
– I saw that. – Into it.
– Get the smell in it. (gags, grunts) Wait but you do or you don’t like it? – It’s okay, not my fave but maybe a little hot sauce
might help, a little Tapatio. That really livens anything up. I got a little bit, I don’t wanna eat more but also I don’t wanna
look as cowardly as I am. – Just shut it out of your
mind that it’s a testicle. It’s just right next to
the shaft, it’s just, just really focus on the flavor. – Mm, well that’s bad
too, the flavor is bad and also the thing is bad. Can I be done eating it? – Yeah you can be done.
– Thank you. – As long as–
– It was really bad. – What exactly about the
flavor, is it the texture, is it the actual flavor itself? What are you experiencing so I can know– – It just seems like it’s gone bad. – Oh, okay.
– I think you served me not the freshest ball you have. – Oh it’s the freshest
ball I had in my freezer for the last three years so
it’s a pretty good product. – So yeah I mean maybe–
– A little spices can disguise up the flavor a little bit. – Sure maybe a newer ball. – (laughs) I’ll go grab
one from my new ball guy down the road.
– Would you please, yeah, I want a farm to table ball. I wanna make sure this ball
was swingin’ in a pasture, not an hour ago.
– We’ll come back in an hour. I’m going to have a fresh
ball and a fresh, delicious full testicle dish that
I know is gonna make you fall in love with the humble testicle. (Jordan laughs) (funky electronic music) I get really excited when
I think about testicles or cooking with any animal gonads really. The first step is to remove the skin so you just run a knife right around it. I find testicles easier to
work with when they’re frozen. You’ve heard of fall off the bone ribs, these are fall off the skin testicles. Just gotta, just rip it. You can kinda dig your
nails under the skin and just one clean motion
on three, one, two. It’s easier to go on two. Beef testicles have
this pure flavor to them and a lot of usable meat. I’m going to be preparing the testicles almost exactly how you
would prepare bacon. And so you’re just
gonna get this into your three to one mixture of sugar to salt and then you’re gonna
let that go for 12 hours in the fridge and it’s gonna
leach all that testicle juice right out of there. And then smoking it with applewood. It’s gettin’ a little bit
of applewood kiss on it. Beautiful so it’s really
just kinda perfume ’em. And so this is just gonna
hang out for about 10 minutes and then we should be good
to go to hit the frying pan. Ugh. (coughs) And finally griddling it ’til it’s crispy and put just a little bit
of maple and black pepper on there to really sell the bacon flavor. That’s beautiful, you can see the
caramelization taking place. Food Fears! For the chorizo I’ll be
rough chopping the testicles and then adding that to the food processor with onion and beef
tallow which is gonna add a lot more fat because
testicles are pretty lean. And I got ancho powder and a little bit of New Mexico chili powder, a little bit of chipotle powder and salt. And you’re just gonna let it
run, grind those testicles up. That’s great, you really
wanna make it just like a testicle slurry, a
testicle goo if you will. And then I’m taking that
chorizo and I’m searing it in a hot skillet until all
the moisture’s evaporated because testicles are very wet and then after the moisture’s gone,
add the eggs, scramble ’em up and that’s a very classic
breakfast burrito filling. All good breakfast burritos have potatoes. For what I like to call a ground testicle, I’m just gonna go ahead and
mandolin that up really thinly. I like to take them and
layer them around a pan and then cook them until they’re crispy, give it a good flip, and that’s gonna act as a blanket in the tortilla
that’s gonna surround all the other ingredients. Now we’re just gonna
let the other side cook for about two minutes. We’re gonna start building our
testicle breakfast burrito. The process of making a
breakfast burrito is very, very important, you have to
griddle the tortilla first. I refuse to eat an ungriddled tortilla. It’s gonna make it nice and pliable. Then you add the potatoes,
the testicle bacon, testicle chorizo and
eggs, roll that up super, super tight, really packing
the ingredients in there. And then you wanna take the
fold, and then if you sear it, it’ll kinda steam it together. The finished breakfast
burrito is gonna get crusted in a gigantic blanket of melted cheese. Am I using cheese as a crutch? Absolutely and I refuse
to apologize for that. So we just have to take all of this cheese and lay it out like a
blanket across the griddle and we’re gonna let that melt and then we’re gonna roll our burrito up inside the cheese blanket. Now we just gotta put our
burrito fold side down right in the cheese. Just gonna take this, try
and really get it to adhere and then get it all covered, pat it down, and here we have our bull
testicle bacon breakfast burrito. (suspenseful music) (uplifting pop-rock music) Jordan, welcome back. – Thank you, I feel gross. – That is very fair, well you ready? – Yes.
– All right, what I’ve made for you
today is the bull testicle bacon breakfast burrito. – Wow.
– So it is a breakfast burrito that’s been wrapped in
a blanket of cheese– – Okay.
– And I turned the testicles into both bacon and chorizo. – Okay, that’s a nice
cross-section by the way. – Thank you.
– That’s the secret to a good breakfast burrito. – It sure is, I tried to
make it actually look like the inside of a testicle. – I wasn’t thinking that but now I am so I will enjoy this less. – Great, I self-sabotage. It’s part of what I do. – I love the cheese sheet by the way. I love that kind of griddled cheese. – Thank you.
– Yeah. – I’m trying to really
dazzle you with (beep) while you don’t recognize
that these are actually testicles inside there. – (sighs) Okay. – [Josh] Please grab a half, will you? And then we gotta–
(mimics flatulence) Tip it and dip it. – Mm, I mean greasy in a good way. – [Josh] Mm-hmm. – Just how I like my testicles. Yeah this is tasty, this has
a lot of great flavor to it. – Yeah. – Yeah and the, I wouldn’t
know that this was ball meat. – Are you focusing on the ball flavor? – Trying not to. – This does disguise it well. There’s over a half pound
of just pure testicle in this burrito.
– Really? – Which one, nutritionally–
– That’s a lot of balls! – It’s keto so–
– Oh that’s good. – This is really
delicious so would you say you’re a convert, that
you can now bow down and worship the testicle
as your new favorite food? – Yeah, I mean from a
theological standpoint, I wouldn’t say so but–
– That’s fair. – As far as being open to
eating balls in the future, I think I’m open to it. – You mentioned Tapatio earlier. – [Jordan] I did. – King of breakfast hot sauces. – [Jordan] Wow. – This is my gift to you. – This is really gonna
wake up these balls. I mean it makes everything better. – It really does.
– Yeah this is solid. – Top three testicle I’ve ever had easily. – Oh yeah I’m willing to go there. I’ll meet you there, sure. – The first two were in
college, that doesn’t count. – We all experiment a
little bit in college. – Thank you so much for
watching Food Fears. Come back next week to
see me in a brand new show called Future Fast Food where I create the next mega viral fast food item.