Bears RB Tarik Cohen Tries Jewish Food & Slang | Simms & Lefkoe: The Show

Bears RB Tarik Cohen Tries Jewish Food & Slang | Simms & Lefkoe: The Show

January 15, 2020 56 By William Morgan


– Chootz-pah.
– Hootz-pah. – Ah.
– Chutzpah. – Heh heh heh heh heh! – That was an interesting laugh
to do during a broadcast but I appreciate your energy. -Oh, you have nice hair. It’s very nice hair. ♪♪ I am so excited for them to see
what we did with Tarik Cohen. Welcome to “Simms & Lefkoe.” – It’s gonna be pretty awesome.
– Dude, wasn’t it? – Yes, it was. It was special. – Like, Tarik Cohen— – What a good sport, for one.
– Just stick around. You’re gonna love it.
– Yes. – The thing that captured
everybody’s attention this weekend, though,
wasn’t even the games. It was Lil Wayne
and Odell Beckham hangin’ out with the players’
reporter Josina Anderson and Odell takin’ a truth serum
and talking about Eli Manning. Here’s a little bit
of what he said. – He’s not gonna get out
the park, he’s not— We know Eli’s not runnin’.
– [Shakes head] – But is it a matter of time
if you can— Can he still throw it? Yeah, he’s been pretty safe. – We have been saying this
for three years.
– Yes. We’ve been tryin’
to keep it real—
– Right. – But when Odell does it,
it kinda goes wrong. – Yes.
– It’s as though he was in the movie “Liar Liar,”
a favorite of us two. – The pen is
rah-rah-rah-rah-royal blue! – So we wondered,
what if all NFL players had to tell the truth? ♪♪ All right, I’m gonna go first.
Jerry Jones to Jason Garrett. Afterwards, he said, “You know,
we gotta risk it there.” Jason, still standin’ by him. What he really wanted to say is, [Texan accent] “Hey, hey, Jason,
lean in real close. You know the millions
I’m spendin’ on that O-line? And you’re gonna punt? I’m ’bout to punt you
back to Princeton if you come with that nonsense
one more time. I got Dak, I got Zeke,
I’m about to call Dez and let him yell in your face
if that’s gonna help ya but I got a problem
with you, JG.” – [Laughing] That’s pretty good. – I’m workin’ on my accent. – That sounds pretty good.
I like it. I was down in Texas before. Oh, OK.
– Oh, Ramsey to Bortles. – A little bromance. Here’s Jalen Ramsey
congratulating Blake Bortles but what he’s really saying is,
“Hey, Blake just don’t throw interceptions! Don’t even care
about incompletions go ‘O’ for the day.
Doesn’t matter! You’re obviously
a little off-target today cuz you missed me on
our high-five handshake there. You’re a little off there. But as long as you don’t
turn it over we can win the game,
even without you.” – All right, next one. Matt Ryan to Dan Quinn. Matt Ryan’s sayin’,
“Dan, let’s figure this defense out. Catch up.” What he really wants to say is,
“Hey, Danny boy, I put up 90 points the last three games,
and it doesn’t matter cuz you’ve allowed 121! Your defense stinks! You’ve lost all these players and you’re still runnin’
the same scheme! You’re a defensive coach! Can I get some help, please?” – “Can I get some creativity?”
– “Please!” – “Please!” All right. Now we got the greatest
of all time. – Yeah, A-Rod. – You know, he’s tryin’
to console his kicker. Guy went 0-for-4 in field goals
and a missed extra point. But you know what he really
wanted to say, Lefkoe? Come over here. Don’t flinch. It’s OK.
– What does he wanna say? – He wants to say,
“Oh, you have nice hair. It’s very nice hair.” But then he wants to go, “Are you f–king kidding me,
dude? I mean, what the f–k? I carry this team
for 10 years straight. I’m out here playin’ on one leg. All you gotta do
is kick the f–king ball between the two yellow sticks. If you do that again,
you’re outta here. I will tell McCarthy to cut you
in three seconds.” – So, if we have to be honest
right now because we talked about
Jim Carrey earlier I would like to admit
to all of you this is an honest take I believe that “Ace Ventura 2:
When Nature Calls” is one of the five
greatest movies of all time. – Oh, my gosh.
That is just beyond stupid. I don’t even know what to say.
– I know you guys agree with me. Fill the comment section below
with support. – It’s not even the best
“Ace Ventura” movie. I mean, that’s what’s hilarious.
– Why? Because one has Dan Marino
and a dolphin? – Oh, that was it,
that’s exactly right. – 2 was in a jungle—
– Oh! – There’s a white bat— – Whoa!
– And we had “guano bowls.” – And nothing funny
the whole movie. That is amazing.
– Like a glove! – Which came from 1.
– No, it was in 2. Oh, this is a lovely
room of death. – But “like a glove”
came from 1. – Listen.
– Yeah. – We all
came from somewhere. – I mean, grow up. – And I thought Tarik Cohen
came from a Jewish background. Boy, was I wrong. So what I wanted to do
with Tarik Cohen was to share my Jewish culture
and experience with him. It’s kind of a Bear mitzvah. Enjoy. Tarik Cohen’s comin’ to New York
to eat at a Jewish deli
with Simms and Lefkoe? Oy vey! ♪♪ When I heard there was a guy
in the NFL, Simms named Tarik Cohen,
I said, “Mwah. L’chaim. We’ve got ourselves finally, a Jewish running back,”
and then I found out not only have you never been
to a bar mitzvah not only have you never had
Jewish food, you’re not Jewish. – Sadly, no.
– Sadly, no. I appreciate the “sadly.”
– Yeah. – “Cohen” though. I mean, that’s in the
Mount Rushmore of Jewish names. – It really is.
– I am 100 percent Jewish. – Yeah.
– What I want to give to you is the full Jewish experience.
I can call it a Jewish combine to making you feel
like a true Jewish man. Are you ready to take
this journey with me? – Oh, yeah, I’m definitely ready.
– OK. – L’chaim. – L’chaim!
– L’chaim. ♪♪ [Bell dinging] – This is our first dish. This is a customary
Jewish breakfast. Do you want to take a guess
as to what is in front of you right now? – Sushi.
– Sushi. It is not sushi.
It is smoked salmon. What do you think of it? – Cream cheese and fish?
– Exactly. – Man.
– Yes, “man” is right. – All right, so
don’t be afraid of it. – No, I’m not.
– So why don’t you pick it up? – Oh, that was a——oh, my gosh. – Hold on. – I don’t like it. – You don’t?
Do you mind if I have a bite? – Damn.
– You can have all the bites. – Ugh.
– I mean, it’s perfect. This is a Jewish deli staple,
and it’s not just what it is— – [Laughing] His eyes.
– It’s the size of it, OK? – Yeah.
– This is a pastrami on rye. And do you see
how much meat is on that? – Yeah.
– That’s not just special. – It’s a little excessive.
– Can’t miss it. – He looked at that like it was a blitzing linebacker
when it came in. He, like, literally looked at it
and was like— – Why don’t you bite into that?
– All right. Let’s see, which one—hmm. – And this is part of the process,
too the strategy of how
to bite the sandwich. – I can see that. – I’m gonna go ahead
and try to flatten him. – Nice.
I think he’s gonna like this. – You think he’ll like it? – I feel pretty
confident about it. – I really give him credit
for havin’ the guts to just dive in there, though. – Why is there no cheese
or nothin’ on it though? Cheese, mayonnaise
or somethin’? – Well, that wouldn’t be kosher.
We have one more. This is the Cadillac
of Jewish food. Tarik Cohen,
I’d like to introduce you to your new favorite food,
matzo ball soup. – Matzo ball.
– Matzo ball. Have you heard
of matzo balls before? – Mozzarella?
– Mozzarella not the same thing.
This is not cheese. – There’s no cheese in there?
– There’s no cheese. You thought matzo balls
had cheese, too? – I totally did.
– So the best way to do this is to take your spoon take a little piece
of the matzo ball get a little bit
of soup in there. – Oh, it’s soft.
– It’s very soft. ♪♪ And there it is. – That’s good.
– That’s the 10 out of 10. – It’s like chicken noodle soup,
really. – It’s chicken noodle soup. ♪♪ The second part of our
Jewish combine is Jewish slang. – OK.
– Not only do I want you to eat like a Jew,
I want you to talk like a Jew. So here’s the first word.
– This is gonna be fun. – It is.
– Schmooth. – Schmooze. What do you
think schmooze means? – Good sleep.
– Good sleep? Oh, like a— – Man, I’mma go schmooze.
– I’mma go schmooze. – I’m about to schmooze.
– So, a schmooze is actually to, like, kinda
talk somebody up. – “Hey, I like your play calls,
Matt Nagy.”
– Yeah. – “That’s a really creative one.”
– “Throw me the ball.” – You’re schmoozing him so he
gives you the ball.
– You’re schmoozing, yeah. – You schmooze, you win.
– Right. – Next word. Ooh! Good luck sayin’ this one. – Chootz-pah.
– Hootz-pah. – Ah, chutzpah. – You gotta get a “heh.”
– Chutzpah! – Oh!
– “We were in the team meeting and Tarik Cohen stood up
and said ‘I don’t like that play.’ Tarik’s got a lot of chutzpah.” – Like, balls.
– Yeah. – Exactly. This is the Jewish
slang phrase of all generations. – Oy vey.
– Oy vey. What do you think it is? – “Tarik Cohen was supposed to run
the slant route and he ran the go route. Oy vey, Tarik Cohen.” – Or it’s like,
“All those pickles for me? Oy vey.”
– Oh, yeah, I got you. So it’s good and bad. – It can be everything.
– OK, good. That’s the one
I’mma use right there. – You have aced
the Jewish combine. And I have a gift for you. – Oy vey.
– Oy vey. I give you
a Chicago Bears yarmulke. – It’s a Jewish fitted cap.
– A Jewish fitted cap, yes. Oh, my gosh,
it looks so beautiful. – Perfect.
– Simms, you’re not out of here. – Oooh.
– A Giants yarmulke. – I like it.
– Put that bad boy on. – Yeah!
– And I have an Eagles yarmulke.
Now we celebrate. Let’s give it up for him. – Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! – Hey!
– L’chaim! – Tarik Cohen, buddy, l’chaim! – Oy vey.
– Oy vey indeed. Tarik is an amazing dude. And there is a thing
of professional athletes going to bar mitzvahs. We talked to Tarik,
gave him a little nudge-nudge. He could be down.
– Right. – So if you’re in Chicago,
and you’re havin’ a bar mitzvah why don’t you turn that
into a Bear mitzvah? Tweet at Tarik. He knows the tweets are coming and maybe, just maybe, Cohen is
showin’ up to your Bear mitzvah. – What’s up? I’m Matt Forte. You’re watching
“Simms & Lefkoe.” ♪♪ – Hello, and welcome,
football fans. It is Thursday night and welcome to mediocre
MetLife Stadium. I am the incomparable
Adam Lefkoe and I am representing the Eagles
on HomerCast. I am a self-made man
that is now a champion and I’d like to introduce you
to my subpar co-host who got this job
because of his father. Hey, Chris.
– Hey, thank you loser Philadelphia announcer
who thinks a lot of himself. But, hey, let’s not forget. I wouldn’t expect anything less
from a group of fans that throw batteries
at Santa Claus and, gosh, have a courtroom
in the bottom of their stadium but you’re gonna bag
on our stadium. OK, Philadelphia doesn’t mean
brotherly love in this telecast. – It doesn’t.
It’s about law and order and I think that Eli’s play
has been criminal thus far. I mean, how can you defend a guy
whose pants constantly smell like poop at the
fear of a pass rush? Gosh, speaking of poop,
don’t your fans eat it once you guys win
once every 40 to 50 years? Great organization. – Speaking of eating it,
you guys have been eating Ls. Sixteen of the last 20 times
you’ve played the Eagles you lost, talking about
the history books there, pal. – Oh, it’s OK.
We don’t really care. Close the yearbook. It’s this year, and you got
one more win than us and you’re the Super Bowl
defending champions. Heh heh heh heh heh! – That was an interesting laugh
to do during a broadcast but I appreciate your energy. Keys to the game What are you doing
for a Giants miracle win seeing as how all of the hope
for this season is lost? – Well, we have exciting
offensive weapons and a future to look forward to
with Odell Beckham Jr. and Saquon Barkley. That’s what we’re
looking forward to. You guys right now are just
a disappointing underperforming team that thinks
Rocky’s real in Philadelphia. underperforming team that thinks
Rocky’s real in Philadelphia.
and Saquon Barkley. underperforming team that thinks
Rocky’s real in Philadelphia. underperforming team that thinks
Rocky’s real in Philadelphia.
Sorry, Philly.
It’s a made-up character. Sorry, Philly.
It’s a made-up character. – Rocky. OK. I think we can agree
on one thing, though. Screw Dallas. – Screw Dallas.
– Yeah, screw Dallas. F–k those guys, man. As you can see, Eagles-Giants
means a lot to Simms and Lefkoe and Super Steve is back. He nailed the Patriots
last week. This week,
is he siding with Simms? Is he siding with me? Let’s go to Central Park
and find out. Guess who won? Super Steve won. Not Scuba Steve.
You got a shout-out for Simms? – No, Slimms, I know
you love “Big Daddy.” I’m gonna take you on a tour and
show you all Big Daddy’s stuff. – All right, so,
I got an envelope. $119.05. You wanna handle that?
– Yeah. – We’re in Central Park. If you don’t live in New York,
you’re not gonna understand. So, congratulations.
– Thank you. – Absolutely.
– I appreciate it. – Thursday night, my Eagles
against Slimms’ Giants. Eagles are favored by three
in New York. Take me through it.
– You know how I love you. – Oooh!
– You know how I feel
about Slimms. – Yes. – That being said, I have to go
with the Giants. – Takin’ the points at home.
Why do you say you have to? – They’ve lost more,
they’re at home, and I just— I feel good about
the home team this week. – Do you see the calmness
in his eyes? Do you see the focus? Do you feel confident?
– I do, yeah. – We’ll have to get Slimms
on the next tour. – He needs to get out here. Yeah, show his face
in person out here. – You wimp. Super Steve goin’ Giants
at home plus-three. What do you think, Slimms?
– Oh, Scuba Steve. I think I’m gonna go
with the negative, Ghost Rider. I’m goin’ with the Eagles. – You’re taking an away team?
– I am. – Home team hasn’t lost yet.
– I know. Call me crazy. – And you’re goin’
with my Eagles? – Yep, I can’t go with him
now that he called me Slimms. – So you’re only picking the
Eagles because of Super Steve? – No, I really think that,
but Scuba Steve’s wrong anyways. – Man, another rivalry. We’ll see if
Super Steve is back. Sunday night, Chiefs-Patriots. Another game of the year
for Patrick Mahomes.
– What? Amazing. Do the Patriots
run the clock down or do they battle it out
with Mahomes in a shootout? – I think the first thing
I thought of was “Well, they’ll try to run
the ball and keep Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs
offense on the sideline.” But this is New England,
and I still think at the end of the day,
they’re gonna go “Our strength is our
offensive passing game are all our schemes—Edelman,
Gronk, Chris Hogan, Dorsett put Brady in the shotgun
and let him just dissect”
– Yes. – And I think that’s
what they’re gonna do. And, let’s not forget if anybody’s proven to us
that they can go on 10-play drives consistently just throwing the football—
– Yes. – It’s the New England Patriots.
– Who wins the game? – I’m gonna go Kansas City,
but it’s a close one. – Really?
– Yeah, it’s gonna be an awesome game,
but I’m goin’ Chiefs. – When you’re watchin’ the game
Sunday night, before the game tune in a little early. This mug, yes,
Chris frickin’ Simms— – I’m foolin’ ’em. – Is gonna be
on the pregame show. He’s got ’em fooled.
I’ll tell you what, bamboozled. – Yup.
– But take a picture of him. Let’s create some memes
when he’s like this or when he’s like that. We’re gonna post some pictures. Let’s get
the meme factory going. Simms memes, Sunday, pregame,
be there or— – Be square.
– For Simms. – Peace out, homies. – We will holla, holla, holla,
holla atcha later. Enjoy the games. – Are you coming home for Thanksgiving? – Uh, I’m not gonna be able to,
you know we have a game. – You know your grandmother doesn’t
have many Thanksgivings left, Tarik. – I can see her afterwards,
it might be late, but I can
see her afterwards. – I love you and I just hope one day
you can understand. – [Laughing] I love you! – I love you too Tarik! – Oy vey!
– Oy vey! [Laughing]