100 Yo Mama Jokes – Can You Watch Them All?

100 Yo Mama Jokes – Can You Watch Them All?

August 30, 2019 100 By William Morgan


-Yo mama’s so
stupid, she thought Nickelback was a refund. -[SPEAKING GIBBERISH] [MUSIC PLAYING] -Yo mama’s so fat, when
she dies in “Call of Duty,” the player gets a
five-person kill streak. Is there a package
ready for direction? Show us where you want it. [FART] [MUSIC PLAYING] Yo mama’s so ugly, One Direction
went the other direction. -Of course, I prefer boys,
but ew, what an ugly lady. [SCARY LAUGH] [MUSIC ONE DIRECTION, “WHAT
MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL”] -That’s not– I’m holding
that for a friend. Yo mama’s so hairy, when
she gave birth to you– [SCREAM] –you got carpet burn, bro. Yo mama’s so stupid, she
though seaweed was something that fish smoke. -I’m freaking out. -Yo mama’s so short, she’d
hang-glides on a Dorito. Yo mama’s so fat, when
Dracula sucked her blood, he got diabetes. -One, two, type two diabetes. Wait, that’s not funny. -Yo mama’s so ugly,
Bob the Builder said– -I can’t fix that. So let’s bury her. -Yo mama’s so stupid, she
bought tickets to Xbox Live. Get it? Yo mama’s so old,
her first Christmas was the first Christmas. [MUSIC – “JOY TO THE WORLD”] Yo mama’s so ugly, when she
looked out of her window, she got arrested for mooning. -It was your face, huh? That’s what they all say. Get in the car. -Yo mama’s so stupid, she
put two quarters in her ears and thought she was
listening to 50 Cent. -Yo moms is dumb. -Yo mama’s so old, when
she farts dust comes out. Oh, God, it stings my nostrils. Oh, my god! Yo mama’s so fat,
she got arrested for carrying ten
pounds of crack. -Just get in the fricking car. -Yo mama’s so stupid, she made
an appointment with Dr Pepper. Yeah. Yo mama’s so ugly, her
pillow cries at night. -(CRYING) Why? She’s got skin tags, man. -Yo mama’s so fat, she had
to be baptised at Sea World. What I’m trying to
say is your mother’s a whale, a whale of a good time. Yeah. Yo mama’s so stupid, she though
fruit punch was a gay boxer. -Did somebody say KO? KO. -Yo mama’s so hairy, Big
Foot took her picture, Oh, kid, I found him. I’m gonna be a
frickin’ millionaire. Yo mama’s so ugly, when she
went into a haunted house, she came out with
a job application. -Oh, God, what is that thing? [SCREAM] -Yo mama’s so stupid, she
tried to climb Mountain Dew. Stupid lady, that’s a
refreshing beverage. Geez. Yo mama’s so ugly,
she made an onion cry. -Oh, put her away, man. She’s touching me
with the same hands she uses to touch her skin tags. Ah! [SCREAM] -Yo mama’s so fat,
when she died, she broke the
stairway to heaven. [CRASH] A lot of paperwork, thanks
to your fat dead mom. Yo mama’s so short,
you can see her legs on her driver’s license photo. -How do you even
freakin’ drive this car? -Shh. -Yo mama’s so poor,
she eats cereal with a fork to save milk. -I’m coo-coo for food stamps. -Yo mama’s so ugly, she
turned Medusa to stone. -Get in the car. -Yo mama’s so fat, half of
her is in a parallel universe. -Damn, girl. Come over here. Huh? -Yo mama’s so hairy, she
shaves with a weed whacker. -Oh come on, man. This is just racist. -What are you doing
using my weed whacker? Yo mama’s so old, when I
told her to act her age, she freakin’ died. Smells like decomposition. Yo mama’s so short, she broke
her leg getting off the toilet. [HUMMING] Except we’re hot, hot– [SCREAM] What the hell was that? Yo mama’s so frickin’ fat,
her splash attack does damage. Yo mama’s so ugly, when the
Kool-Aid man busted through her wall, he said– –oh, no. No. No. -Yo mama’s so fat, when she
climbed into a monster truck, it became a low rider. -Yo, dog. We heard how much
you like doughnuts, so we put a donut
inside of your donut. Yo mama’s so stupid, she
yelled into an envelope– [SCREAM] –because she wanted
to send a voice mail. Come on! Some– someone,
someone tell this, uh, bitch how to do stuff. Yo mama’s so ugly, Hello
Kitty said goodbye. (HIGH VOICE, JAPANESE
ACCENT) Oh, you are so ugly. Oh, goodbye, goodbye. What the fuck is a Hello Kitty? Yo mama’s so old, she sat
next to Moses in third grade. -Let my Trapper Keeper go. -Yo mama’s so fat, she
doesn’t need internet. She’s already world wide. That’s a huge bitch. Yo mama’s so stupid, she
studied for a drug test by taking all of the drugs. Pop the Molly, I’m sweatin’. Woo! Yo mama’s so hairy, she
stars in “Donkey Kong” games. God damn those fucking bees. Oh those bees. Fuck. Yo mama’s so fat, when
she made PS3 account, the entire network crashed. Come on. I just want to place
some “Battlefield 3.” Yo mama’s so ugly,
her reflection said– -I quit. [MUSIC SARAH MCLACHLAN, “IN THE
ARMS OF AN ANGEL”] Yo mama’s so fat, she jumped
up in the air and got stuck. -What goes up must
come down, unless we talking about yo fat mama. -Yo mama’s so stupid, when she
heard it was chilly outside. she ran and got a bowl. -You know what
killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age. Cool. -Yo mama’s so fat, she puts
on her belt with a boomerang. -Now that’s a belt. -Yo mama’s so ugly, she gives
Freddy Krueger nightmares. -You need an extreme
makeover, bitch. Wake me up, damn it! -Yo mama’s so poor, the
ducks throw bread at her. -You’re despicable. -Yo mama’s so stupid, she got
fired from the M&M factory for throwing out the W’s. She also tried putting
them in alphabetical order. Yo mama’s so ugly, not even
goldfish crackers smile back. And they are know
for their smiles. But that’s not the point here. The point is your mom’s ugly
and you should feel bad. Yo mama’s so fat, I took a
picture of her last Christmas. And it’s still printing. I’m going to owe Kinko’s
like a million dollars. Yo mama’s so poor, she hangs
toilet paper out to dry. So where would I thank you Yo mama’s so ugly, when
she played “The Scary Maze Game,” the picture said, I quit. And then your
momma took the job. Oh, god. Yo mama’s so fat,
Stephen Hawking based his black hole
theory on her asshole. Damn it, Hawking. -No. -Yo mama’s so ugly,
her birth certificate is an apology letter
from the Trojan Man. -Madam, you are disgusting. Here is a magnum to
put over your head. -Come one, pass
that shit over here. Stop Bogarting the joint. Yo mama’s so short,
when she smokes weed, she can’t even high. Yo mama’s so fat, when she sat
on the iPod, she made the iPad. Yeah. Yo mama’s so poor, she went to
KFC to lick people’s fingers. Ah, gross, what the fuck, lady. Yo mama’s so fat, that she
needs cheat codes for Wii Fit, or like We Can’t Fit
into anything, right? Yo mama’s so ugly,
the forever alone guy denied her friend request. [CHUCKLING] Fuck no! Yo mama’s so hairy, she
gots Afros on her nips. -Can you dig it? -How disgusting! Yo mama’s so fat, she is
a map on “Call of Duty.” Yo mama’s so fat, when I
pictured her in my head, she broke my neck. -So, how did you
break your neck again? -Just thinking
about some fat mom. Uh, oh, no, no, no, no, no. It’s happening again. [HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING NOISE] Yo mama’s so fat, even
Kirby can’t eat her. [HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING NOISE] -OK, he’s pink and he
does a lot a sucking. Pretty gay. -Don’t you talk
shit about Kirby. I don’t care if he’s pink. He’s frickin’ bad ass. Yo mama’s so ugly,
at the strip club, people pay her to
keep her clothes on. -How many ones should we throw? -That should be enough
for a nice sweater. Yo mama’s so fat,
her belly button get home 15 minutes
before she does. [SCREAM] [CRASH] -Damn, I dig those rolls. [SCREAM] -Yo mama’s so stupid, when she
got locked in a grocery store, she starved to death. Oh, come on! Not next to the beef jerky. Yo mama’s so ugly, she’s the
reason why Sonic runs fast. Yo mama’s so poor, she chases
after the garbage truck with a shopping list. -Scram, lady, this
is my garbage. -Yo mama’s so stupid, she
threw water at the computer to put out a flame war. I see Ray William
Johnson’s better than you. Why make fun of him? No, he’s not. He’s a short piece of shit. Blah, blah.blah. Ah, ah, ah. Wa? Oh! Oh! Why? Yo mama’s so fat, even
Dora couldn’t explora. -Dora. -No me gusta. Yo mama’s so hairy, the only
language she speaks is Wookie. [WOOKIE TRILLING] [WOOKIE TRILLING] [WOOKIE TRILLING] [WOOKIE TRILLING] [WOOKIE TRILLING] [WOOKIE TRILLING] -Jessie. It’s time to cook. -Yeah. Fat stacks, yo. [FART] [EXPLOSION] -Yo mama’s so fat, when
she walked by the TV– [HEAVY FOOTSTEPS] –you missed the entire show. Yo mama’s so short,
she committed suicide by jumping off the bed. Oh, come on. Those are $300. [SUCKING SOUND] [CHOMP] Yo mama’s so old, her breast
milk is p– p– p– powder. [COUGH] Yo mama’s so stupid,
she returned a donut, because it had a hole in it. Like holy shit, you’re stupid. Yo mama’s so ugly, when
she joined an ugly contest, they said, sorry,
no professionals. Yo mama’s so stupid,
she put paper on the TV and called it Paper View. That’s really stupid of you. Stop being so stupid. Just stop. Yo mama’s so short, she can
do back flips under the bed. What’s going on down there? You interrupted my dream where
I was high-fiving Vin Diesel. He’s my hero. Yo mama’s so ugly, when
she plays “Mortal Kombat,” [SINGING “MORTAL KOMBAT” THEME] Fight. Scorpion said,
“stay over there.” -Ah! -Babality. -Yo mama’s so stupid, she’s
stopped at the stop sign and waited for it to say go. You’re probably going to
have to go pick her up. It’s raining. She’s staring at the sky. She’s probably going to drown. Come on. Yo mama’s so hairy,
when she woke up, she found herself in
a cage at the zoo. You want a banana? You want a banana? Oh, god, she’s escaped! Run! Yo mama’s so fat, when it
rains, she used the highway as a slip and slide. You better have good
insurance, bitch. Yo mama’s so ugly, the way
neither Jacob nor Edward want her on their team. Team Brody! Yeah! Yo mama’s so stupid, she
sold per car for gas money. Hey dummy, that’s
an electric car. Yo mama’s so fat, even her
clothes have stretch marks. Yo mama’s so ugly, she
makes blind kids cry. I’m pretty sure
that’s a hate crime. Yo mama’s so stupid, she
went to the Apple store to get a Big Mac. Yo mama’s so ugly,
Slender Man runs from her. It’s also the reason
he has no eyes. Yo mama’s so stupid,
she went to the dentist to get a Blue Tooth. She also tried to eat a Smurf. Yo mama’s so stupid, she
tried to drown a fish. -Swim, Nemo, my
son, my special boy. -Yo mama’s so fat, when
she just sat on a rainbow, she made Skittles. Oh, God! Oh. Yo mama’s so hairy, they
filmed the National Geographic in her bathroom. -And over here, we see the
brown back momma bathing. Bathing that stink away. She’s emerging. She’s emerging. Shh, shh. Be still. Clever girl. Yo mama’s so stupid, she
got hit by a parked car. Seriously, lady? C– c– c– c– come on! What are you thinking? Yo mama’s so
stupid, she stays up all night trying to
catch some sleep. You’d– you’d– you’d think
she’d pass out, but no. No. Yo mama’s so stupid, she brought
a spoon to the Super Bowl. Yeah! And the fat one brought cereal. Yo mama’s so stupid, she played
got your nose with Voldemort. [SCREAMING] Boo. What, you got burned. Yo mama’s so ugly,
she needs a steak around her neck to get
the dogs to play with her. -Like, would you do
it for a Scooby snack? -Ro, no. Ra, hee, hee, hee. -Yo mama’s so stupid, when I
said, drinks were on the house, she went and got a ladder. And then she fell off. [CRASH] [CAR SCREECHING] Yo mama’s so ugly, which
she tried to take a bath, the water jumped out. -Ah, fuck this. I’m outta here. -Yo mama’s so fat, she doesn’t
fit in a yo mama video. You know the dimensions are
only 16 by nine, you know. You’re too fat. Yo mama’s so fat,
when she went out in a green bikini,
everyone shouted, Godzilla! -Oh, come on, guys. That’s not Godzilla. That’s Godzilla’s wife. -Run. [MUSIC PLAYING]